Ryan and Brian do Crosswords

Hey everyone, it’s your second- (or third-, perhaps) favorite blogger from this site. Ryan is off vacationing with his wife, so I’ve been left with the joyous task of telling my wife to go to bed without me because I have to stay up late solving a Friday puzzle. Hopefully you can put up with my nonsense for a few days until Ryan gets back and makes you all happy again.

Today’s offering is courtesy of our good friend Kevin G. Der-Hyphen-Youkilis. Kevin is, of course, famous in the crossword community for his puzzle last year which featured one black square. Okay, it was eightteen. But it was a record. For those wishing to relive Kevin’s glory, here’s a link to the Across Lite version of that record-breaker. I’m sure I’m breaking rules by downloading it from the New York Times site and then sharing it with all of you. But it’s my little snarky way at biting back at the Times for not giving you easy access (i.e. a paper version) of the second Sunday puzzle two weeks in a row.

Forget last August, though. Today there is a very normal number of black squares (29), and a completely doable puzzle. That’s right, no UNSAFER this time around. I had one mistake in the puzzle that I wasn’t able to spot on my own, and here’s a (non-)surprise — it was the crossing between something foreign and something I’d never heard of. What can you do.

I bolted out of the gate quickly on this, knowing 9A. Pianist Jarrett and others (KEITHS). I used to listen to jazz a lot in a desperate effort to understand what was so great about it. I mean, I’m a musician, for crying out loud, and I don’t like jazz. What is wrong with me? (Maybe it’s that I don’t look like this while I play the piano.) After spending the better part of six months listening to a lot, going to see bands play, even playing with a trio a few times at a club myself, I eventually determined that I have no business being a musician because I still don’t like jazz. Here I am a decade later, still trying to shake off this pesky career.

KEITHS opened up the obvious (and incorrect) KMART for 9D. Target competitor. Clever, Kevin. Trying to throw me off. (The answer is actually KOHL’S.) I invented a wrong word for 1A. “In one era and out the other” phenomenon, but at least it got me partially on the right track (my answer: TIME SLIP; the correct answer: TIME WARP). One of my favorite movies is The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and how can we have TIME WARP in a puzzle without having “The Time Warp” here on the blog?

I tried to find a funny clip from “Kate & ALLIE” (34A. Half a 1980s TV duo), but, well, it was “Kate & Allie,” so funny was difficult to come by. Instead, here’s Allie (Jane Curtin) in a far better bit of television from a decade earlier. Dan Aykroyd plays Kate here, and seems to turn in a much more vibrant performance than Susan Saint James ever did.

When I was eleven years old, my parents realized that they were almost out of time to fulfill their lifelong dream — to have their only son sing in a boy’s choir. Yes, so in the final 18 months before my voice dropped to the dulcet baritone you can hear weekly on “Fill Me In,” I joined the Boy Singers of Maine. The new season began in August, I think, with a week-long overnight camp at a place called Pondicherry. It had all the basics of camp life — the boys who had been there before tortured the new boys mercilessly. Ah, youth. Anyway, after the torture was complete, we sat around the campfire and sang a bunch of songs. At least, the boys who knew the songs sang them. The first song I remember from that campfire began with these lyrics:

Jeremiah was a bullfrog.
He was a good friend of mine.
I never understood a single word he said,
But I helped him drink his wine.
Oh, yes, he always had some mighty fine wine.

This is, of course, the opening to “Joy to the World” by Hoyt AXTON (39A). Now, why a bunch of pre-pubescent boys were singing about helping some drunken amphibian get more drunk is beyond me. But at age eleven, that was my first foray into music — and it went a lot further with me than my efforts to become one with jazz piano.

I want to give more of Kevin’s puzzle its due, so here are a few favorites from the grid:

• 13D. Grassy bottom : HULA SKIRT
• 24D. Girl with considerable pull? : MILK MAID
• 31D. One cooking a return : TAX EVADER
• 35A. One might stand in a chamber of horrors : WAXWORK
• 37A. Calligraphy, some say : LOST ART
• 55D. Like Magic? : TALL

My apparent Trivia Box was the X crossing between 56A. Cheerios, abroad (ADIUEX) and 47D. Meter-candles (LUXES). I’ve never heard of the latter (neither clue nor entry), and I was just confused by the first one — “Cheerio” is already an abroad term, isn’t it? Or am I to suddenly assume that I’m British?

The last subject I’d like to explore here is that of cluing. As I’m reading this puzzle, I feel like the clues might be what identify the character. Yes, the fill is assorted and full of great letters and feels generally quite current and new-fashioned, and Kevin is a young guy, so that all makes sense. But Kevin, if you’re reading this, please drop a comment down below and tell us about your cluing methods. Do you write them? Did Will change a lot of them? I think the clues are quite diverse and well-written, and it’s a skill I’m working at on my own puzzles, so I’m eager to hear what you (Kevin) or you (any other reader) might have to say on the subject.

Everyone, please dive into the community pool that is our comments down below. Let’s get chatty!

See you Saturday!

Did I get the date right this time?  I hope so.

I’m grumpy for two reasons.  One, I was once again busy all night at work and barely had time to do the puzzle.  Bee, this puzzle ended my no-google streak in a manner I did not appreciate.

The puzzle is by Elizabeth C. Gorski and the theme is GERTRUDE STEIN.  Figuring that out took me while as I could only think of Gloria Steinem who is not a poet.  At least, not a published one.  The puzzle featured a mini-rebus of Rose IS A Rose IS A Rose IS A Rose.  All that was well and good.  Not my favorite theme as poetry and I don’t normally comingle.

What I had a problem with was the general area featuring DO RE MI and a lot of other nonsense.  Yes, I understand that DO RE MI is slang for money but the clue, “Cabbage” is also slang for money.  I wasn’t expecting a slang term to beget a slang term.  Since the clue was slang I was hunting my brain for a non-slang term for money.  Little did I know I had embarked on a fruitless exercise.

The crosses were no help:

41A. “Spring ahead” hrs. (DST).  Isn’t daylight savings time in the Winter?  Isn’t the  Spring and Summer daylight spending time?  There’s lots of sunlight in the Summer.  Why are we saving it?

62A. That is (IDEST).  Yes, IDEST shows up in crosswords a lot.  No, I do not know what it means.  Is it Latin?  Use it in a sentence.

59A. “___ X” (2003 Lisa Kudrow film) (MARCI).  There are three main reasons why I should not be expected to know this answer.

1. Why on Earth would I pay money to see Kudrow’s ditzy blonde shtick when I can see it for free on any of the 8 daily reruns of Friends?
2. Why on Earth would I see anything with Damon Wayans in it?
3. Why on Earth would I see anything directed by Richard Benjamin, a member of that odd fraternity of directors who, based on the merits of a respected acting career and moderate initial success behind the camera, are given wads of money to make the most horrendous movies imaginable.  Others in the brotherhood include Leonard “Funny About Love” Nimoy and, most distressing of all, Sidney Poitier, an elegant and extremely talented actor who, nonetheless, has helmed absolute garbage like Fast Forward and Ghost Dad.

So, really, I had no chance at figured this section out.  But, what can you do?  Those are the breaks.  I see Doug Peterson, Crossword Gentleman and Man About Town solved this in 4 minutes and change so, clearly, it was solvable.  Just not by me.

That, unfortunately, is it for today.  Sorry for the grumpiness.  I’ve got to grab some shut eye as Pickles and I are leaving for Martha’s Vineyard in just a few hours.

Have a wonderful July 4th everyone.  Brian will take everyone through the weekend and I’ll be back next week.

Next stop, the beach.

Why is it that as a holiday approaches my job becomes busier?  Shouldn’t people be off on vacation already?  Good grief.  The end result of all this busyness is I barely had enough time to do the puzzle last night and I certainly didn’t have any time to blog.  So, now I’m home and instead of crawling into bed after 12.5 hours of staring a computer screen at work I am sitting in a chair staring at a computer screen at home.  Don’t get me wrong, blogging is one of the highlights of my day.  I’m just saying today’s post will probably be on the short side.

Before I get to the puzzle I should remind everybody that you now have less than 2 months to sign up for our crossword puzzle tournament, Lollapuzzoola 2: The Son of Puzzoola.

The theme of today’s puzzle by David J. Kahn fits squarely in the “I could have seen that coming” category.  MICHAEL JACKSON.  I wonder if the 6 days between his death and this puzzle marks the shortest time for a tribute puzzle to appear.  (Which, incidentally, reminds me we have yet to see a Paul Newman tribute puzzle.)

In 1983 I was 11 years old and a huge Michael Jackson fanatic.  I didn’t know anything about the Jackson 5 or Off The Wall.  All I knew was the THRILLER album and I played it incessantly.  (I’ve never been a big music fan and growing up I owned exactly two records, Thriller and Weird Al Yankovic’s Dare To Be Stupid.  Both classics.)  I owned the Thriller and Beat It jackets, both of which were purchased at my local Kmart.  I had the glove and glittery socks.  I think I only wore the full get up to school once, which was probably once too many, but I did enjoy moonwalking around the house and pretending I was MJ.  Unfortunately, I was a stubborn, pain-in-the-ass kid and refused to pose for pictures so you will just have to use your imagination.  I also went to the Victory Tour and the Bad Tour.  Yes, I was a very big fan.  As I got older, I grew out of my obsession (the last album I bought was Bad) and as MJ became more and more freakish I distanced myself further.  But that album is still awesome.  That moonwalk is still awesome.  And, I hope, in 100 years that’s the stuff for which he’ll be remembered.

I was a little disappointed to see more references to the DANGEROUS album than to his earlier stuff.  I wouldn’t know the song GONE TOO SOON if it bit me on the ass.

Non-Michael Jackson quibble:

22D. Old fast-food chain (NEDICKS).  NEDICKS is actually back in New York.  It’s owned by a different company but it does exist.  The clue seems to imply it is no more.

Ok, I’m off to bed.  I’ll leave you with some great MOONWALKING and Thriller, marching band style.

Next stop, Thursday.

To continue a subject from yesterday’s post, I’m very glad to see I’m not the only one confused by Kris Kristofferson.  Here are a couple of other facts that may help to enlighten the situation.  First, Kris Kristofferson’s birth name was Kristoffer Kristofferson.  Second, as Joon, Squirrel of Discord pointed out, there is a character in Eugene O’Neill’s Anna Christie named Chris Christopherson.  He was the captain of the barge Simeon Winthrop.  So there you go.  Hope that helps.

Today’s Steve Dobis puzzle has the central answer ELOCUTION PHRASE which reminded me a of a great scene from Singin’ in the Rain.

The rest of the theme was:

17A. Informal greeting (HOW GOES IT).

30A. At times (NOW AND AGAIN).

47A. One not using the company cafeteria, maybe (BROWN BAGGER).

64A. Bay Area concert venue (COW PALACE).  The last time I was in San Francisco there were signs all over the place advertising a reptile expo at the Cow Palace.  Plus, and this is why you’ve got to love the Bay Area, they will be hosting 6 straight weekends of a Jehovah’s Witness convention followed by a body art expo, roller derby playoffs and a gun show.

Other highlights:

63A. PC-less Internet hookup, once (WEB TV).  This still exists, sort of.  It’s now called MSN TV.  I’m not sure why anybody would want this.  Trying to get the internet to work on your TV seems much more complicated than just using a computer.

71A. Sonic the Hedgehog’s company (SEGA).  Remember when SEGA had the best gaming machines?  The Sega Genesis was a huge hit.  I never bought one but I did buy a Sega Dreamcast which was a huge flop and precipitated Sega getting out of the console manufacturing business.  As a bit of history, I also bought a Turbo Grafx 16 back in the late 80’s which was completely trounced in the marketplace by the Sega Genesis.  So, to sum up, I usually don’t know what I’m talking about.

14A.  Sea dog’s libation (GROG).  I’ll admit it, I used to enjoy B.C. when I was a kid and my favorite character was Grog.  He was kind of like Animal from the Muppets.  At least that’s what I thought back then.  I haven’t read it in years.  Is it horrible?  Is it good?  Is it the same thing as The Wizard of Id?  Turns out there was also a Grog video game for the Colecovision.  That’s right, the Colecovision.  It was called B.C.’s Quest for Tires II – Grog’s Revenge.

54D. Pale shade of violet (LILAC).  Brian, the wives and I were playing a game called A to Z last night.  Long story short, I had to name things that were naturally blue.  I said the ocean.  Brian said I was wrong and that the ocean just reflects the color of the sky.  But isn’t that how all color works?  How light or whatever is reflected off of something determines its color?  Right?  Clearly, I’m color blind and I don’t know what I’m talking about but I still think I’m right.

Fun puzzle.

Next stop, Wednesday.

It’s the sixtieth episode of Fill Me In! Can you believe it? We can’t. But this episode, like so many others, includes all your favorite segments:

• Viewer mail
• How to pronounce Xan Vongsathorn’s name
• Contests
• No answers from Mike Nothnagel

Wait a minute, what? What happened there? Oh, see Mike didn’t write to us until after we’d finished recording the show. This happens sometimes. You’ll just have to see where this new plot twist takes us.

Otherwise, we have new opinions on the second Sunday puzzle, we have some of the same old information about Lollapuzzoola 2, and we probably screwed up the sound effects because we were too exhausted to actually check whether we were doing it right!

So here it is, launching at almost four in the morning (because Brian is an insomniac), Episode 60.

 

 Fill Me In #060: There's a bobcat in our bag. [36:54m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Zzzzzz…

Ok, we’re losers.  We let a spoiler for Sunday’s puzzle slip into our Facebook feed.  Sorry about that.  Won’t happen again.

I’ll tell you what will happen again.  Lollapuzzoola!  Segue!  Yes, Lollapuzzoola 2: The Son of Puzzoola is taking place on Saturday, August 22 right here in Queens.  $20 to enter.  Click the “Pay Now” button on left side of the screen.

Today’s Paula Gamache puzzle featured a fun GOOD, BETTER and BEST theme.

17A. Seven or eight hours, typically (GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP).

35A. Inventor’s goal (BETTER MOUSETRAP).  I had this game as a kid.  The concept of the game was much better than actually playing it.  Much like many other aspects of my childhood, the memory of it brings forth a lot of frustration, broken pieces and the denial of cheese.

52A. They rarely see the light of day (BEST KEPT SECRETS).  Unless you go on the internet.  Search google for BEST KEPT SECRETS and everybody’s just giving them away.  For instance here is the BEST KEPT SECRET for cooking octopus.  Helpful if you ever want to cook octopus ON THE SLY.

Other highlights:

30A. Kristofferson of music (KRIS).  I don’t understand who KRIS Kristofferson is.  Sometimes I think he’s Kenny Rogers.  Other times he seems more like Kenny Loggins.  But sometimes I’m fooled into thinking he’s Tom Skerritt.  But then he’s a country singer.  And then he’s an actor.  It’s too much.  I don’t get it.

44A. Did nothing (SAT HOME).  Hey, I’m sitting at home right now and look at all that I’m doing.  I edited a podcast, I’m writing a blog, I ate a bowl of Star Trek cereal.  Are these things nothing?  Well, possibly, but that cereal is pretty good.

46A. Rock’s ___ the Hoople (MOTT).  Does this seem a little obscure for a Monday?  How about “Maker of apple sauce”.

1D. Plastic block brand (LEGO).  Has anybody been to Legoland?  Is everything made out of Legos?  Or is everything made to look like it’s made out of Legos?

5D. Self-confident, as a pageant contestant (POISED).  Yes, like Miss Teen South Carolina.

19D. Prepares to streak (STRIPS).  Whatever happened to taking off your clothes and running around a public area as a form of protest?  It just doesn’t happen anymore.  No wonder we can’t get anything done.

Ok, so we’ve got Episode #60 of the podcast coming out tomorrow.  Episode #60!  Holy crap.

And hopefully our commenting systems is working now.  Brian, you should try it out first.

Fun puzzle today.

Next stop, Tuesday.

Brian: Have we started?

Ryan: Our commenting system is screwed up.

Brian: I know. But that won’t stop us from blogging until the OVERAWEs come home.

Ryan: That was a good clue. The fact that the answer started with OV really tricked me.  I was trying to come up with some word like OVINATE.

Brian: Is that a word?

Ryan: It’s possible.

Brian: Did you no-Google this? I had to look up two squares.

Ryan: I did no-google this. In fact, I had a no-google week. The last letter I put in was the Q in TIMOTHY Q MOUSE. What squares did you have to look up?

Brian: I guessed the A between HAARLEM and ADOREE — I mean, it could have been any vowel, and while my first guess was an A, I did look it up.  And I also had to look up the N in MYNAH/NSW.  I still don’t know what either of those is.

Ryan: HAARLEM is actually the source of the name of a neighborhood in Manhattan.  Chelsea.  Isn’t MYNAH a bird that makes fun of you?

Brian: No, that would be ALISON.  And I don’t think your neighborhood joke works without me saying “Oh really? Which neighborhood?”

Ryan: What if I put an ellipsis in there? HAARLEM is actually the source of the name of a neighborhood in Manhattan…Chelsea.

Brian: Maybe… but then it’s like you’re doing stand-up. Which is weird, since you’re a) not a comedian, 2) sitting at your computer, and iii) have no audience.

Ryan: Ok, we’ll try it your way. You know, Brian, HAARLEM is actually the source of the name of neighborhood in Manhattan.

Brian: Oh really? Which neighborhood?

Ryan: Harlem.

Brian: [press start on laugh track]

Ryan: We would be remiss if we didn’t mention this puzzle is by our good friend Barry C. Silk, Friend and Confidante of Doug Peterson, Crossword Gentleman and Man About Town.

Brian: We’ve pointed out Barry’s penchant for baseball clues in his puzzles, and there’s one at 2-Down, although I’m not familiar with him. Cesar CEDENO, five-time Gold Glove winner.  How many Gold Gloves have you won?

Ryan: Which position?

Brian: Sitting at your computer with no audience.

Ryan: Three. And I’ve come in second twice.

Brian: Impressive.  I once led the league in consecutive meals without leaving my desk chair, but that’s a rather dubious distinction.

Ryan: That might account for the dead mice.

Brian: Yeah, the room smells a little mousey right now.  Oh well, what are you going to do?  Hey — what happened to our plans to recreate the magic of Walter MATTHAU and Jack Lemmon by putting on our own production of “The Odd Couple”?

Ryan: I’m all for it, we just need to find some pigeon sisters.  What did you think of the theme? SECRET INGREDIENTS.

Brian: Good, although I’ve never cooked with JASMINE. I thought that was just a candle fragrance.

Ryan: I’ve made a lot of JASMINE rice.  I like themes like this. They may not be the most exciting but once you figure it out, it makes it easy to fill in those blank circle squares.

Brian: Yes, I was able to do some of the ingredients before solving the entries they were hidden in. Except I tried SALT instead of DILL. Which is fine in a puzzle (if you can erase it), but terrible in actual cooking.  I might have liked to see the long entries (those hiding the ingredients) have something clever about them, rather than just be long entries.  Like puns about cooking or something.

Ryan: Well, I think, technically, you can eat any of the theme answers.

Brian: Oh, and I have. I took a bite out of JAMES A MICHENER just the other day.

Ryan: EMIL and EMAILS both appear in the grid. Is there some sort of theme idea there? EMILS EMAILS.

Brian: What about TEASE and ATEASE?  Maybe the theme was actually “Added As”

Ryan: I was thinking about a theme for a new puzzle.

Brian: Hey — HAARLEM also has an added A.

Ryan: I was thinking more along the lines of 17A. Computer correspondence of Zapotek (EMILS EMAILS)…25A. Money repeatedly used to get cartoonist Keane out of jail (BILS BAILS).

Brian: Get back at a flirt (TEASE A TEASE).  Not quite the same…

Ryan: Could be a different theme though. Something else to look out for in Barry’s puzzles are Beach Boys references.

Brian: I have to say — I don’t know WENDY. I tried to make RHONDA fit in there. Was that the Beach Boys?

Ryan: I think the song you’re thinking of is Help Me Rhonda. Which may or may not be an actual song that may or may not have been performed by the Beach Boys.

Brian: I understand that Barry C. Silk, FACODPCGAMAT is not going to attend Lollapuzzoola 2 because of a Beach Boys concert? He is a die-hard fan.

Ryan Yes, they are his favorite group. I wasn’t aware they were still performing.

Brian: We’ll have to perform some Beach Boys hits at Lollapuzzoola just to make him jealous. Whaddya say?

Ryan: You know me, as long as I get to play the keytar I’m happy. Well, we should start wrapping this up, we have to be in the studio tomorrow to record a podcast.

Brian: I know — seven hours from now, we’ll be creating audio gold.

Ryan: Good puzzle today.

Brian: Yes. And I especially liked it because my nephew (and owner of my birthday) SOLOMON appears there at 25-Across.

Ryan: I enjoyed YODELS at 107-Down.

Brian: I enjoy Yodels any time of day.

Ryan:  Two reminders.  Sign up for Lollapuzzoola.  You’ll be incredibly glad you did.  And, if you’re cheesed off by the absence of the Second Sunday Puzzle from the NYT Magazine, sign our petition.

Next stop, Monday.

I’d like to open this post with two thoughts.

One is: Thank you, Ellen Ripstein! You came to see the show I’m working on (I’m a pianist for “Tin Pan Alley Rag,” now playing Off-Broadway). How cool is that? I’m sorry I wasn’t able to socialize after the show, but as we’re still previewing, I attend the post-show production meetings every night. To anyone else who might come see the show — please let me know that you’re coming. If I’m not stuck in a meeting, I’ll try to pop out and say hello!

Two is: Why do I have an easier time with Saturday puzzles than with Friday puzzles? I don’t get it. This seems to be more than a fluke. Every single weekend, I find myself solving a Saturday in relatively normal time, whereas the Fridays confound the hell out of me.

Today’s puzzle by Trip Payne (pictured at right — picture stolen from Facebook) was really no problem at all, save for one Trivia Box. Some of the longer entries were total gimmes, which was a quick start for me:

• 1A. Rock samples : DEMO TAPES. I knew it was about rocks. It was a question of DEMO TAPES vs. DEMO REELS, but either way, piece of cake.
• 21D. It begins with an E (in two ways) : EYE CHART. Awesome clue and answer.
• 35A. Start of a confession : BLESS ME FATHER. I’m not religious, and even when I was, I was Jewish (emphasis on the -ish). Why do I know this answer? Movies, I assume. But it was a gimme.
• 43A. Influential 1996 video game : TOMB RAIDER. I’ve never played this game. Never. Not once. Not even a little bit.
• 46A. Yellow squares, often : POST-ITS. The picture at right is a Post-It mosaic (see 37D) of Ray Charles, as put together by Dave Alvarez. This kind of thing, like the Rubik’s Cube art Ryan posted a few days ago — these just amaze me. That people can come up with the idea AND execute it. Amazing.
• 58A. Contents of a certain household box : CAT LITTER. We have two cats. One is sweet and wonderful and cozy and delightful and named Jack. The other is evil and rotten and vindictive and hates Jack and is named Blueberry. We just got a new cat tree (multi-level perch with a scratching post up the middle and carpeted shelves for feline reclination). There’s four levels for the cats to sit on. Jack will find a spot and get comfy, and next thing you know, Blueberry is biting her and clawing her and making poor Jack miserable. Jack might hate us because we haven’t gotten rid of Blueberry yet. Does anyone want an evil, vindictive cat who hates other cats?

A few spots that were trickier, but still barely Friday-tricky:

• 19A. Author of “Time’s Arrow,” 1991, a novel written in reverse chronological order : AMIS. Never heard of it. Is it better than “Benjamin Button”?
• 36D. Milky : LACTEAL
• 37D. Multipart art : MOSAICS. Good one.
• 41D. Agent of change : REVISER. I’m not a big fan of crossword entries that are start with RE-. Nor am I a fan of crossword entries that end with -ER. This entry also crossed into the Zone of Awkward Non-Words with UVA (47A. Sch. founded by a president) and MCIV (Year that Acre fell in the First Crusade). Reviser is also a board game. This is a picture from one of the many steps required to make a move. It looks like it might be a bit trickier than Reversi (which seems similar, and is also an anagram).

Awesome entry:

• 32D. Is in Athens? : IOTAS. That first word isn’t “is” — it’s the plural form of the letter I.

My Trivia Box was the M between MCIV and METZ (50D. Birthplace of poet Paul Verlaine). By laws of Roman numerals, it’s either M, D or C. And my guess was Metz, even though I’d never heard of it and DETZ could be a place, too.

It’s been a long week, and I’m pooped. So this is it for now. See you Sunday!

I’ve been doing a ton of late-week puzzles lately, mostly themeless, and I feel like I’m getting better. Then this Lynn Lempel puzzle shows up on my desk, and I go back to being the idiot I’m known to be. I didn’t just have to Google an answer on this, I had to give up and search out two full sections that I found utterly confusing.

Before I get to those, let’s discuss some of the awesome answers from this puzzle:

• 11D. Techies affiliated with a major electronics chain : GEEK SQUAD. I warch “Chuck” on television, so NERD HERD popped into my head. Of course, that’s fictional. But I know the Geek Squad because one of their cars lives in my neighborhood. I see it from time to time, and I want to take my laptop to them and say “why does this shut down after about 20 minutes of use no matter what?” Sadly, the times that I have my broken laptop with me and the times that there are geeks in the Geek Squad car don’t ever seem to coincide.
• 17A. One calling about a tower, maybe : AAA MEMBER. Of course this is “tower” as in “one who tows,” not “place where Rapunzel lives.” I have changed my own FLAT tire (1A. What a 17-Across might get assistance with) twice, but I don’t know that I’ve called Triple A before.
• 20A. Ellen of “Ocean’s Thirteen” : BARKIN. Why wasn’t this clued as “great crossword solver, and knower of all things”? Howard, you should write in and complain to someone. Anyway, I liked the first of the Ocean movies best. And I mean the first of the Clooney/Pitt/Damon ones. I never saw the real original one. But I like buddy movies and I like heist movies. Maybe it’s because my life lacks both buddies and heists. I don’t know. Ms. Barkin is the one in the pink dress. Lynn Lempel is the one in the blue dress on the other side of Al Pacino. The guy peeking between Al and Lynn is allegedly Crosscan.
• 40A. Kangaroo carrier? : QANTAS. I guess the question mark debate continues… Why here? Are we to believe that “kangaroo” is slang for Australian? Maybe. I totally tanked on QANTAS as an answer on one of the first puzzles I did since starting this whole blog thing with Ryan last year. I haven’t forgotten it since.

So here’s my first Area of Doom:

• 41A. Rumble : GANG WAR. You’d think, with my theater background, this would be a gimme (see: West Side Story), but instead I found myself writing in MAN-O-WAR for some reason, and convinced myself it was right. But this wasn’t my worst obstacle…

41D, 33D, 43D, 46A and 50A — these five answers mean nothing to me. They are, respectively, GOREN, BENGHAZI, AMENS, FOR SHAME and GREEN ZONE.

• 41D. Bridge guru : GOREN. Apparently, Charles Goren played bridge. The card game. My parents used to play bridge a lot (maybe they still do), and I never learned it. I don’t know a single thing about it. I used to read the section of the newspaper where they proposed a bridge hand and challenged the reader to come up with the best plays (or something along those lines). I would read the answers and think they were simply making stuff up to sound important. Bid one no trump, three no spades, pass to the east, blah blah blah. Maybe if I understood the ultimate goal, the game would make more sense. This photo represents the only kind of bridge and card combination I can figure out.
• 33D. Libya’s second-largest city : BENGHAZI. Seriously, the second largest city in Libya? I challenge the dumbest 95% of the American population to name any single city in Libya besides the capital. Any city. Okay, even name the capital. Go ahead, I dare you.
• 43D. Famous last words : AMENS. Obviously this is meant to deceive, but I don’t get it. What’s famous about “amen”? I guess it’s a “last word” because it ends a lot of prayers. But does that make it famous? Is the word “the” famous, too?
• 46A. Cry of reproof : FOR SHAME. Apparently, I have to look up “reproof.” Merriam-Webster says it means “criticism for a fault.” Okay. Seems like one of those words someone made up just to make themselves smarter than their neighbor. I should try that. I will now start using words that Ryan doesn’t know.
• 50A. Walled-off enclave in Iraq : GREEN ZONE. I’m just an ignorant fool. I read the news, but I didn’t know this term.

Let’s now explore the other section that I couldn’t get without help, and that was the middle:

• 24A. Formal discussion : COLLOQUY. Holy crap. I got the -OQUY at the end, which should have been the awkwardly difficult part of this word. But the only word I ever heard of that ends this way is SOLILOQUY, which fits neither the boxes nor the clue. How does colloquy mean formal, yet colloquial means informal? Discuss.
• 29D. Mountain passes : GATES. Someone explain this. What mountains have gates to let you through? Tunnels, maybe. Valleys in between? Sure. Gates? I did a Google image search for mountain gates, and came up with pictures of mountains, pictures of gates and pictures of a heavy metal band’s cover art for their album “Rhapsody.” Nothing else useful, though.
• 32A. Like drag shows : CAMPY. I hate drag humor. I don’t think it’s funny, and I don’t think it’s entertaining. I don’t think it’s shocking. I don’t understand why it appeals to some people. It’s men in dresses with makeup and wigs, usually acting more stereotypically over-the-top flaming gay than the least bit feminine. But is it campy? I thought parody and satire could be described as campy. I enjoy a good parody. And campy humor can be fun (see: Christopher Guest movies). But drag shows? Wait — is there something about car racing going on here? Is it that kind of drag? No… I’m just lost.

Okay, on second thought — I looked for a picture to put here, and came across Tim Curry from “Rocky Horror Picture Show.” That’s campy and drag and I enjoyed it. So I’m proven wrong. Voila.

• 20D. Guy who needs no 24-Down : BALDY. Well, 24-Down is COMBS (Dopp kit items). I think this 20-Down clue is not very good. It makes no indication that we’re looking for a cutesy name — in fact, I think this clue merits more question mark than the Qantas clue. Also, who uses the word “baldy” anyway? Seems random. Finally, most bald people aren’t fully bald anyway, and combs can still be useful for the back and the sides. To this entry, I say “meh.”

Bottom line, this was a frustrating puzzle. Couldn’t solve it Google-free, which was a disappointment, and even when I learned the answers, I realized I wouldn’t have been able to solve it anyway (which was another disappointment).

In other news, come to Lollapuzzoola 2. It’s going to be legendary.

See you Saturday!

Sorry, friends… Ryan gets the night off once in a while, and I’m forced to step in. Actually, I was almost accosted in the BeMoreSmarter offices today for having contributed nothing to this blog in over a week — they almost took away my ID badge! Don’t they know who I am? Apparently, they don’t…

Anyway, here we are at Thursday. It’s already been a long day for me, and I don’t have much brain power left. But I was able to complete this Bill Zais puzzle in a decent amount of time for me (about ten minutes). Like many Thursdays, this puzzle was themed in a rather unclear way. See — on Mondays and Tuesdays, there’s usually a clue that says something like, “…or a hint to this puzzle’s theme.” As the week progresses, the theme might be slightly less blatant, but perhaps a collection of clever turns of phrase (like in Corey Rubin’s puzzle yesterday).

Today, it’s a whole new theme clarification. Mr. Zais gives us a handful of down answers (yes, the down clues have the theme this time) in which the clue begins with a curious arrow:  <—

What is that about? Strange graphics… Ah, but there’s method to his madness. The five theme answers are terms that begin with numbers — yes, the number of their respective clues! So we have:

• 3D. <— Plastered : SHEETS TO THE WIND. Did you know the origin of this phrase is from boats? Maybe you did. I first heard it when I was a kid (no, I don’t know why, with two parents who didn’t drink much, if at all), and for whatever reason always imagined bedsheets. Rather, it’s that a boat with three sails flapping loose in the breeze will rock somewhat “drunkenly.”
• 5D. <— Gambling game : CARD STUD. Not my favorite form of poker. I like Texas Hold ‘em, but I think I like some of the other seven-card games better. There seems to be more card-related strategy, whereas 5-card stud is almost entirely betting-related strategy. I prefer playing cards to playing chips. Maybe our friend Sammy the Dentist has some insight on the various card games of the world. Sammy — do you read the blog? Or just listen to the podcast?
• 7D. <— Sherlock Holmes novel, with “The” : PERCENT SOLUTION. Never read it. There’s a movie version with Alan Arkin, Laurence Olivier, Robert Duvall and Vanessa Redgrave. And there’s a Stephen Sondheim song featured in the movie as well: “I Never Do Anything Twice.” Cute song. Weird song. Good song.
• 20D. <— One starting a career, perhaps : SOMETHING. Can a thirty-something start a new career? I want to start over again, and I worry that I’m too old. Am I too old?
• 40D. <— Work period : HOUR WEEK. This is why I want to start over again. I am currently working 65-70 hour weeks. At least, that’s what it feels like. I’m out of the house for 70 hours or more each week. What job can I maximize my earnings while doing the least amount of work possible? I’ve just started playing The Sims 3, and in that game, you can have a career in various industries including music, science, literature, and slacking. Yes, slacking. That’s the career path I would like to begin.

This concept reminded me of a Jim Page puzzle from 1995 (I found it in the Wordplay book). Here’s the solution. In Mr. Page’s puzzle, the clue numbers were the clues. For example, 76D. was the answer TROMBONES. Very clever.

I was less thrilled with some of the smaller fill in the grid. OED and ORD (14D. 20-vol. work and 4D. JFK : New York :: ___ : Chicago, respectively), HOO/HEE/VEE, OTB/OTS, AAA, SSS, CPI, NNE, STA/STE… Three-letter words are tough, but most of those used in this grid seemed to skirt around language in favor of crossword-y things that don’t really exist anywhere else.

My favorite clue: 45A. Either of two emcees (COHOST) — obviously, this clue is in reference to me and Ryan, and the fact that we’ll be co-hosting Lollapuzzoola 2 in just under two months. If you haven’t signed up yet, please do. It’s going to be awesome.

As many know, the New York Times did not run the second Sunday puzzle in last weekend’s Sunday paper. While there are certainly many sensible and valid reasons why they chose this route, there are also many members of the puzzle community who are frustrated, and want to help show their support of the paper and pledge their interest in reinstating the second Sunday puzzle. To that end, Ryan has set up an online petition. If you feel like signing, please visit this link. And be assured, you do NOT have to sign up for anything in addition to this petition. There may be some pre-checked checkboxes for other offers, but you are welcome to opt out of anything.

I suck at including pictures in my blog posts. I leave that art form to Ryan. The rest of you can jump into the comment world. Talk about anything you like. Ryan and I have a lot more fun with the blog when you all start chattering and we get to join in.

See you Friday!