Ryan and Brian Do Crosswords

New York Times 34:19
Wall Street Journal 33:48

New York Times
by Peter A. Collins, edited by Will Shortz

I had to look up a couple things, but for the most part, I was able to work this one out. The grid, full of twelve 10-letter answers, looked very scary as I first loaded it up. And when I went through the clues the first time, I saw very little I could actually write in. I was about to just abandon ship, and post something to this blog with the tag “Brian continues to eat moron pills on Fridayze,” when I clicked onto a long answer I actually thought I knew.

• 59A. Doll that was once a going thing (BETSY WETSY)

Why did I know this? Maybe because I was traumatized as a child during my father’s attempts to toilet train me. Maybe because I have always thought it was a funny thing, a funny name. Maybe because — well, who cares? I knew BETSY WETSY, and suddenly the bottom row of the grid had something in it!

And then suddenly:

• 54A. Choice for intercontinental travel (OCEAN LINER)
• 57A. Student activity (TEST TAKING)

And into the southwest and up the left edge:

• 24D. Opening pair? (ADAM AND EVE)
• 25D. Tidy up the lawn, in a way (RAKE LEAVES)
• 26D. Marmalade ingredient (ORANGE ZEST)

Within a few minutes, I had two huge chunks of the grid filled. Maybe there was a chance here… Quickly! To the other 10-letters! I’m on a roll!

And… CUT. Nothing. Ran out of film. Camera died. Light is gone. I got a few scattered answers:

• 4D. Tikkanen of hockey (ESA) — I had ELA in here for a while, even though I saw this clue last week.
• 5D. It’s no longer divided (BERLIN)
• 7D. “___ Lady” (1971 hit song) (SHE’S A)
• 8D. Meet preliminaries (HEATS)

But through the middle and the whole northeast, very little else:

• 23A. Hit the big time (MADE IT)
• 35D. “Stand and Deliver” Oscar nominee, 1988 (OLMOS) — One of my favorite films. And between this and “Blade Runner,” did James Edward Olmos have the coolest resume?

I have a bunch of guesses for other clues, but they’re giving me word partials of EEEU and NNNTY and things that just aren’t going to be right. So I decide to give myself a big present. Since I’ve never heard of San Quentin prison, I will just find out where it is, and that will kickstart the middle for me. Thank you Wikipedia, and we learn that 23D. Home to San Quentin State Prison is MARIN COUNTY (clearly not ending in -NNNTY). From this, I now find:

• 30A. Pessimist in a Disney cartoon (EEYORE)
• 35A. Uses as a bed (LIES ON)

…which gives me the downs (and solves 35A. One way to get through a wall [OSMOSIS]), and now I’ve filled the middle. Suddenly, the northwest starts making sense. 1A. They have many sticking points is ROSE BUSHES, and 15A. 1978 cult film with a mutant child is, of course, ERASERHEAD. I’m confused with 17A. Sealing fans?, but it sure looks like POLAR BEARS fits. We’ll try it for now. All the downs make sense… POLAR BEARS? Okay…

Now I’m still stuck in the northeast. I decide that I ought to know 18A. Oscar-nominated “My Man Godfrey” actor, 1936, since at one point, I was going to adapt that film into a musical. But I don’t know. Gregory Peck? No. Cary Grant? No. I have no idea. Betsy Ross? Of course not. She only made snuff films. I go to the trusty internet, and discover a typical vowel-eating answer in Mischa AUER.

Well, that’s all I needed to find 12D. Zydeco instrument (SQUEEZE BOX) and 14D. Simplest, in math and logic (FIRST ORDER). The across clues fall into place, and before I know it, everything is full.

I’m sure I have mistakes, though… I can’t fill out a Friday in a half hour even with help and not have mistakes. I click the “Done!” button, expecting to have to proofread everything and find my three errant squares, when… “Thank you for playing!” and I’m actually finished.

I’m going with no pictures for today. I’m just too tired to look them up. Let Ryan find the pictures.

Wall Street Journal: Box Sets
by Randolph Ross, edited by Mike Shenk

I should have my puzzler’s license revoked.

I didn’t see the gimmick in the puzzle until way way way late in the game. I had all these answers with a missing T. At least, that’s what I thought the trick was. I thought I was dropping the T from various answers for some reason. 4D, 14D, 48D, 85D, 31A, 72A, 106A, 109A — all of these clues had, as I saw it, a T for their fifth letter — and the T was what I had to drop.

Ask me if I ever saw that every single one of them also had a V for their sixth letter? Go on, ask me

NO!

I spent my brain power trying to figure out a pattern amongst the missing Ts in, and got so confused when I got 34A and 70D, neither of which have a T for their fifth letter… How can I fit “Absolut Vodka” in there when the fifth letter is an L?

…sigh.

Well, if you’re here and trying to learn what the damn gimmick actually was, it came from the title (which I didn’t notice either — HELLO, BRIAN! WAKE UP!), “Box Sets.” It’s not that we drop the T, it’s that each of the answers contains the consecutive letters TV, and those letters share a square. As a result:

• 4D. Weight of a test question (POIN[T V]ALUE)
• 8D. Brief spot ([TV] AD) — This would have given away the whole trick for me, if I had ever gotten it right. Even after completing the grid, I had no idea. I was looking for places a brief could be, e.g. on a lawyers desk, in a man’s pants, etc. Didn’t think of brief as an adjective. Again, my license. Revoke it.
• 14D. Win worth celebrating (SWEE[T V]ICTORY) — This was the first of the gimmick answers I filled in, and what started my theory of the disappearing T.
• 48D. Opera star’s asset (GREA[T V]OICE)
• 70D. Grey Goose competitor (ABSOLU[T V]ODKA)
• 85D. Blood flow regulator (HEAR[T V]ALVE)
• 121D. When Hamlet dies (AC[T V])
• 6A. European Union member since 2004 (LA[TV]IA)
• 31A. Jazz sound? (SHOR[T V]OWEL) — I’m not sure if this relates to the art of scatting in jazz, or the vocal stylings of Bobby Short (or someone else named Short?)…
• 34A. Write-in candidates may receive them (PROTES[T V]OTES)
• 72A. Emigration document (EXI[T V]ISA)
• 106A. Business partnership (JOIN[T V]ENTURE)
• 109A. Edward Lear specialty (LIGH[T V]ERSE)
• 129A. NHL Hall of Famer Denis (PO[TV]IN)

A very clever trick full of enjoyable clues. Oh, and how did I eventually discover the trick? When I asked Across Lite for help on my three empty squares in 69A. Jibs on racing yachts (GENOAS) and 128A. Seaweed-filled sea (SARGASSO) — and it marked all those V squares as wrong. (In Across Lite, had I eliminated all the Vs instead of the Ts, it would have marked them correct. When a square requires multiple letters, you can either put the first of several letters or all the letters, and the software will mark it correct.) If I had assumed the trick was dropping a 6th-place V, I’d have possibly never understood my folly.

Fine. No one understands my folly. Ever.