Ryan and Brian Do Crosswords

Alrighty then.  I didn’t have a chance to look at the puzzle last night so I figured, when I woke up, I’d give it a quick solve and write my post.  Forty minutes in I have maybe 30% of the grid filled.  I have no part of the theme of this Brendan Emmett Quigley offering.  Okay that’s not entirely true.

109A. Ones in charge of a case…or a literal hint to the eight other longest answers in this puzzle.   I have an A.  The other 13 letters of the answer are very, very blank.  I should at least be able to get the first answer of 111D. Sixth-century year.  God, these are so confusing.  Ok, right now it’s the 21st century, right?  But we’re in the 2000s.  So, the 6th century would be in the 500s.  And the Roman numeral for 500 is D, right?  Right?  Ok, that’s what I’m going with.  So now I have an A and a D and only 12 blank letters.  Take that, Quigley.

Ok, I just got a big one: 66A. Track-and-field event (HAMMERTHROW).  I still maintain you don’t get to see enough of these lesser known events during the Olympic coverage.  Events like the hammer throw are particularly fascinating to me because who wakes up one day and says, “Hammer throw.  Yes.  That’s what I want to do with my life.”  But they dedicate themselves to it and become world class athletes.  It’s great but you only see about 5 seconds of the competition while 3,000 hours are devoted to the gymnasts and their flippy-ass jumps.

I also have 17D. Beloved figure in England (QUEENMOTHER).  Wasn’t Queen Mum in last Saturday’s?

Just got 98A. Pantry array (MASONJARS).  I think that’s also part of the theme.  No idea how it’s related to the other theme answers.

65D. Card game played to 61 (SPADEsomething).  I know there’s a game called SPADES but other than that I’m in the dark.

23A. School in Madison, NJ.  I have a couple of letters for this one.  How come I don’t know this?  I’ve spent time in Madison.  It’s not that far from NYC.  The only New Jersey schools I can think of are Rutgers and Princeton.

11D. “The Da Vinci Code” scholar Sir ___ Teabing.  Not sure how I don’t know this either.  I read the book.  I know Ian McKellen played him in the unbelievably boring movie.  Can’t think of the guy’s name though.  By the way, I thought that book was great.  It’s completely ridiculous and the writing is certainly not great but I couldn’t put the thing down.

Ok, I’m going to keep at this for a while.  I eventually no-googled yesterday’s puzzle so I’ve got a no-google week going here.  This is one of the tougher Sunday puzzles I’ve come across in a while.  Of course, I tend to find Brendan’s puzzles pretty difficult.  I do his Time Out New York puzzles every week and I always have a tough time with them.  Not to mention the paper in that magazine forces me to use a pen which I don’t like because half of what I enter in turns out to be wrong.

Sorry for the lame-o entries this weekend.  Family and friends in town coupled with difficult puzzles has resulted in not enough time to blog.  Hopefully Monday’s puzzle will take me less than an hour.  That should free up some time.

Next stop, Monday.

Good god, it’s late already.  I haven’t finished solving this Joe Krozel puzzle plus I have family and friends in town.  This all adds up to what should be a short post today that won’t do justice to this well-crafted grid.

The puzzle is broken up into 4 sections and I have everything solved except for the bottom right.  Unfortunately, that particular section is a typical Nexus of Ryan’s Ignorance so I might be at it for a while.  I’ve got a no-google week going so I figure I’ll keep at it.

Favorite clues so far:

42A. Separator of light and dark (TANLINE).  Thought for sure this was about laundry.  I hate doing laundry with a passion.   And I’ll admit it, I don’t separate my lights and darks which leads to lots of gray shirts and socks.  Thank god we have a laundry room in the building.  If I had to cart my clothes outside it would simply never get done.

1D. Founder of the Foundation for Florida’s Future (JEBBUSH).  This was an educated guess.  By its name, the organization strikes me as irritating bureaucratic nonsense so I just had to think of irritating Floridians.  Jeb was the first one who came to mind.

6A. “Only bad witches are ugly” speaker (GLINDA).  All my life I thought her names was Glenda.  But, really?  It’s Glinda?  Glinda the Good Witch?

15D. Blouse coverer (PINAFORE).  This one is a total guess and I’m not 100% sure it’s correct.  I suppose because of Gilbert & Sullivan I thought PINAFORE was a type of ship.

44D. Refreshing things (NAPS).  I love naps.  There are few things my wife and I like better than a good Sunday nap.

Ok, unfortunately, this is all I have time for today.  If you guys have any favorite clues you’d like to discuss please do so.  I’ll check the comments later on.

Next stop, Sunday.

Fun puzzle by Alex Boisvert.  Took me a long, long time to get going on this one.  The only answer I knew right away was 9D. ___ Santiago, 1987 N.L. Rookie of the Year (BENITO).  Just one of many useless baseball facts tucked away in my brain.

Ok, I lied, I also knew 44D. ___ 2600 (hit product of the 1970s-’80s) (ATARI) right off.  I really wanted a 2600 when I was a kid but somehow I got stuck with an Intellivision.  Honestly, the Intellivision was probably the better system but was never as cool as the 2600.  Here’s an Atari vs. Intellivision commercial with George Plimpton which seems to be the inspiration for the current Mac vs. Pc ads.

I did eventually no-google the puzzle but it took around an hour.  Dan Feyer, Winner of the C Division, completed the grid in 2:45.  That’s 2 minutes and 45 seconds which, if my math is correct, is under 3 minutes.  How does one solve a Friday New York Times Crossword in under 3 minutes?

I enjoyed the two answer theme:

31A. ___ Day (September 19) (TALKLIKEAPIRATE)

8D. “Well, I’ll be!,” as it might be said on September 19 (SHIVERMETIMBERS)

I enjoy the whole concept of Talk Like A Pirate Day.  I’ve never been invited to a Pirate Party but just knowing that such parties exist makes me happy.  I toyed with the idea of translating this post into Pirate but the last time I did that it was met with such derision that I’ve decided against it.  Arrgh.

Lots of highlights and fun stuff throughout the puzzle:

16A. What the 1939 50,000-word novel “Gadsby” completely lacks (ANE).  I was not privy to a book that had no symbols as thusly put out.  (Good god, that sentence took me 10 minutes to come up with and it doesn’t make any sense.  How do you write a whole book without E’s?   Here it is online if you care to read it.)

30A. Meyerbeer output (OPERAS).  Wow, I really thought had something to do with beer.  I know next to nothing about opera.  Speaking of classical music, a new piece of Mozart music has been found.

53A. At someone’s mercy (OVERABARREL).  This one took me a while.  I had OVER but I thought it would end in ED.  I had OVERREARRED until I decided that made no sense.  The cross that finally helped was 41D. Doorstep numbers? (CAROLS) which is a great, great clue.

55A. Shell locations (GASSTATIONS).  This was fairly easy once I decided it wasn’t EXOSKELETON or something of that nature.

2D. Hindu drink of the gods (AMRITA).  A beverage which grants immortality.  How is there not an energy drink with this name?

5D. Revolutionary patriot James (OTIS).  He probably came up with the phrase “Taxation without Representation is Tyranny”.  Of course, he is more famous as the guy who installed all the elevators at the First Continental Congress.  Little known fact: since they lacked the electricity to pump in elevator music, each cab had its own fife player who provided atmospheric Barry Manilow instrumentals.  Edward Biddle, a delegate from Pennsylvania, was often heard humming Mandy during deliberations.

14D. Like soldiers known as Gurkhas (NEPALESE).  This was a total guess.

23D. Wiped out, slangily (ATEIT) and 29D. “That’s fine” (OKBYME).  I enjoyed these two.

39D. Italian restaurant chain (SBARRO).  Bleh.  Sbarro really is crap.  Here’s an amazing fact from wikipedia: In 1956, the Sbarro family opened their first Salumeria (an Italian grocery store) in Brooklyn, which became popular for its specially fresh food and genuine Italian fare, including homemade mozzarella, imported cheese, and sausage and salami. Two adjectives I have never associated with Sbarro before: fresh and genuine.

Great puzzle.  I hope everybody has a great Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Next stop, Saturday.

Today’s Thursday puzzle was constructed by one of our favorites, Mike Nothnagel, Penpal Extraordinaire and Constructor of the Friday Puzzle.  Typically great puzzle by Mike which featured circled letters laid out in a serpentine manner that spelled: IT GOES UP AND DOWN.

17A. [See circles] (WINDOWSHADE)

21A. [See circles] (ELEVATOR)

55A. [See circles] (SINEWAVE)

63A. [See circles] (STOCKMARKET)

I have to admit, as more smarterer as I like to think I’m getting I struggled with just about every section of the grid.  I was eventually able to hack my way through it but it took over 37 minutes which is quite a long time for a Thursday puzzle.  It was a fun solve though.  Lively fill, as Orange says.

6A. Language from which “divan” is derived (FARSI).  Did anybody get this one without crosses?  Does anybody just know this?

14A. Thin as ___ (AREED).  I put ARAIL here and clung to it like a starving man clings to a Happy Meal.

31A. “How Do ___” (1997 LeAnn Rimes hit) (ILIVE).  I’m not 100% sure who LeAnn Rimes is.  She’s different than Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, right?  I’m not so sure.

35A. Oenophile’s interest (NOSE).  I put WINE here.  Now Mike knew I was going to put WINE.  And Mike knew I was going to be so proud of myself that I knew what Oenophile meant.  Said pride blinding me from realizing my answer was wrong.  And Mike knew I’d cling to my incorrect entry like a sad clown clings to a Happy Meal.

39A. 80, for Hg (ATNO).  Ok, this one I got right away which means I either have been doing tons of crosswords lately or I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

47A. Business with a register (INN).  For a three letter answer, this took me a long time to figure out.  At least 6 or 7 minutes a letter.

62A. Dick (TEC).  What can I say, it’s just a funny clue.

1D. Family pet in “Hi and Lois” (DAWG).  I simply do not understand who the audience is for horrible comic strips like these.  They don’t contain jokes or anything that could be thought of as funny.  Hi and Lois appears in over 1,100 newpapers in 37 countries.  That means there are at least 1,100 people in the world who read this comic and think, “Yes, this pleases me.”  Here’s a sample of the brilliance of Hi and Lois.  Explain to me what the joke is.  Go ahead, I dare you.

2D. Former “ER” co-star La Salle (ERIQ).  Why this was not clued as “Pitchman for Soul Glo” puzzles me.  Speaking of Coming To America, here’s the Randy Watson scene simply because it’s awesome.

5D. Oliver Twist, for one (ADOPTEE).  Great way to clue this.

12D. ___-Detoo (ARTOO).  There are people who, when watching Star Wars, will yell out, “Are not!” any time a character says, “Artoo”.  Avoid these people.  They cling to Star Wars like Barpotomous Drebble, the wealthiest man on the plant Keyorin, clings to a Happy Meal.

Great puzzle by Mike.

Next stop, Friday.

Interesting theme in this Edward Safran puzzle. Six movies that start with the same three words. None of which I’ve seen.

21A. Sean Connery: “The Man Who ___” (1975) (WOULDBEKING)

51A. David Bowie: “The Man Who ___” (1976) (FELLTOEARTH)

3D. Boris Karloff: “The Man Who ___” (1936) (LIVEDAGAIN)

9D. Burt Reynolds: “The Man Who ___” (1983) (LOVEDWOMEN). It would be very interesting to see what Burt would have looked like if he allowed himself to age naturally. I bet he’d still be handsome and manly instead of all stretchy and weird.  Of course, he doesn’t look any more weird than his ex wife 53D. Anderson of “Stroker Ace” (LONI).

28D. Lloyd Nolan: “The Man Who ___” (1942) (WOULDNTDIE)

30D. Billy Bob Thornton: “The Man Who ___” (2001) (WASNTTHERE)

A quick search of the imdb tells me the only “The Man Who” movie I’ve seen is The Man Who Knew Too Little with Bill Murray.  Gotta love Bill Murray.

I had a lot of trouble in the top middle section.

7D. Sicilia e Sardegna (ISOLE).  I can only guess that ISOLE is Italian for islands.

8D. Like paper vis-à-vis electronic (DEADTREE).  Maybe I’m not totally understanding this but the whole thing seems very awkward to me.

26A. It flows with the wind (LEETIDE).  C’mon, man.  I just learned neap tide.

6A. Kid-___ (film genre) (VID).  When my wife and I saw the R-rated Tropic Thunder there were a few families who mistook the theater for a day care center.  Hence we had 5 or 6 young children running around the whole time.  What do you do in a case like that?  Glaring and admonishing didn’t do anything.  Ugh, I’m not really a fan of kids to begin with.  I mean, they’re great, from a distance.  But, up close, I don’t see the appeal.

18A. ___ few rounds (GOA).  This also is a touch awkward.  “Go a few rounds” is not usually a phrase unto itself.  It needs context to make sense.

Other than that section I didn’t have much trouble with the puzzle despite being unfamiliar with the theme answers.

63A. Biscotti flavoring (ANISE).  I don’t understand biscotti.  Explain to me what is appetizing about them.  Your explanation must include the terms “crunchy”, “think they’re better than me” and “abomination from God”.

33D. Two caplets, e.g. (DOSE).  I read this too quickly and was convinced it had something to do with Romeo and Juliet.

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Next stop, Thursday.

Any thoughts of me cracking 5 minutes for the second day in a row ended around the 6 minute mark on this Michael Langwald puzzle.  Oh well.  Clearly, Tyler doesn’t have as much to worry about as I might have thought.

Fun, punny, hunger-inducing theme.

17A. Grouch who’s plenty mad? (STEAMEDCRAB)

27A. Pipsqueak under cross-examination? (GRILLEDSHRIMP)

48A. Wee lad feted by the Friars? (ROASTEDPEANUT)

64A. Burned-out goofball? (FRIEDTURKEY).  “Burned-out goofball” sounds like a delicious new bbq candy.  How come there aren’t bbq candies?  There is a candy bar that contains bits of bacon.  This grosses out many people.  I bought one and thought it was pretty good.  My wife thought it was disgusting and wouldn’t talk to me for a week after I convinced her to try a piece.

Other highlights:

15A. Revealing woman on TV? (VANNA).  Great clue.  Vanna inspires some very creative clue writing.  I think my favorite is “She’s on TV for a spell”.

33A. ___-Ball (arcade game) (SKEE).  Although it doesn’t always work, I’ve found the best skee ball tactic is to bank the ball off the side of the lane in an attempt to center the shot as it jumps off the ramp.  As with most things in my life, this approach would be more effective if I was good at it.

54A. Sushi fish (EEL).  Definitely my favorite kind of sushi.  Also known as the bacon of the sea.  Hmm, another candy bar idea?

7D. Talladega 500, e.g. (RACE).  Here’s how I think they make Will Ferrell movies.  They start with the poster.  They come up with some goofy-ass poster that’s vaguely funny and write the movie around that.  I can’t bring myself to watch any of his latest movies.  They all look so bad.  It’s a shame as I think he’s really funny and when he does an original, interesting movie like Stranger Than Fiction he can be a wonderful, touching actor.

12D. The first letter of “circle” (but not the fourth) (SOFTC).  Yes, this fooled me for a while.

49D. Western mountain chain, with “the” (SIERRA).  Shouldn’t this be the Sierras?  Like the Urals or the Alps?

53D. Nick of “Affliction” (NOLTE).  He was great in Tropic Thunder.  I haven’t decided if I think he’s a nut in real life.  He certainly has had a long, successful career.  Most nuts burn out pretty quickly.

Looks like Episode #26 of Fill Me In: A Crossword Podcast will be delayed a bit.  With Brian out of town we just haven’t been able to get a show recorded.  But he’ll be back in 2 weeks so we’ll aim to do one then.

Next stop, Wednesday.

Yes! Finally! For the first time I broke the 5 minute mark on a New York Times Crossword. Hey, Tyler, you hear me knocking?

My time on this Sharon E. Peterson puzzle was 4:29. My record time being the result of a pretty easy puzzle, my dashing good looks and, somehow, going 4 minutes and 29 seconds without making a bonehead mistake. That last one has got to be some sort of record for my day to day life as well.

The theme here was “Two Word Phrases Where the Second Word is Immediately Preceded by the First Word. With the Aforementioned First Word Having an Additional Meaning Than That Which is Used in the Two Word Phrase. With the Aforementioned Additional Meaning Pertaining to a Masculine Four-Legged Beast.”

17A. Completely nude (BUCKNAKED). Also, George Costanza’s porn star name.

66A. All-male gathering (STAGPARTY)

11D. Bygone Dodge S.U.V. (RAMCHARGER)

30D. “Buy buy buy” time on Wall Street (BULLMARKET)

Other highlights:

39A. “Les Misérables” fugitive (VALJEAN). With all apologies to musical-hating Brian, here’s “Who Am I?” from the 10th Anniversary of Les Miz.

47A. Cauliflower ___ (EAR). Bleh.

64A. Catawampus (ASKEW). A quick google search of catawampus turns up a theory of the word’s origin, a future etail site, a band’s myspace page and an audition notice for an upcoming film.

12D. Alps-to-Arles river (RHONE). This must be a typo. Rivers can’t have names longer than 4 letters.

All in all, a fine Monday puzzle. If you were going to put a Monday puzzle in a time capsule to show the people of future what we solved every 7th day this would be a good one to choose. NEE, ARES, ALBA, OPAL, ELL, TARA, UMA, LOCO and on and on.

In other, completely unrelated news I finally saw Tropic Thunder last night. Hilarious. “I don’t read the script. Script reads me.” Good stuff.

Next stop, Tuesday.

Really fun, solid Sunday puzzle by Jeremy Newton. With the additional excitement of a rebus. I actually figured out that a) there was a rebus and b) what the rebus was, in less than 20 minutes. That’s got to be some sort of record for me. Rebuses (rebi?) are still the absolute last thing that comes to mind. They come way after considering typos, hallucinations and iron deficiency. But this one I keyed into relatively quickly.

Before moving on into the meat of the puzzle I wanted to take moment to congratulate JimH on his new position as official New York Times Crossword blogger. I am very much looking forward to seeing how Jim’s insights, expertise and technical skills improve the NYT online experience. Congrats Jim!

On to the puzzle. The theme/rebus was YEAR-ROUND and the 3-letter month abbreviations appeared in the grid in a clockwise direction. I figured out October first with 65D. Professional with many contacts? (EYEDoctOR). I was little skeptical as I had never heard of the cross 82A. Boils down (DECoctS) but it turns out DECOCTS is a word that means “boils down”.

Some of the other theme answers:

25A. Native tongue of R&B singer Rihanna (BAjan). I’m a square. I’m not sure who Rihanna is although I think she has something to do with an umbrella. And, if this clue is to be believed, she is from Barbados. The average annual rainfall in Barbados varies from 39-90 inches.

43A. Genre explored by Run-D.M.C. and Aerosmith (RaprOCK). I didn’t realize this was an actual genre. Did I mention that I’m a square?

103A. Samuel L. Jackson’s character in “Pulp Fiction” (julES). There’s a great article in the AV Club about stars who are impervious to flops and Jackson easily made the list. He really does seem to be in bad movie after bad movie but I still think he’s great and I’m always at least slightly interested in seeing his movies. But, seriously, he was brilliant in the career-launcher and career-resurrector that was Pulp Fiction.

64A. Cry at sea (MAnovERBOARD). I don’t do a lot of surfing. (And by that I mean I’ve never been surfing.) But if was ever to start a surfboard company I would call it Manover Boards. That right there is a million dollar idea. Who’s with me?

Some of the other highlights:

21A. Singer who said “At least I had that, one guy understood me” (YOKOONO). A rare appearance of Yoko’s full name following yesterday’s rare appearance of YMASUMAC.

39A. Alvin and the Chipmunks, e.g. (TRIO). I think I have to call for an all out ban of Alvin and the Chipmunks from the NYT puzzle. Their very existence annoys people. Look at that picture. Look how smug they are in their hoodied, pantsless outfits. Is that really something you want to subject your solvers to?

69. Hall’s partner in pop : OATES. Are you like me? Can you not tell the difference between Hall and Oates and Starsky and Hutch?

12D. Unlikely event for puritans (ORGY). Without a doubt, my favorite clue in the puzzle.

14D. Foe of Spider-Man (ELECTRO). Electro’s first appearance in the puzzle as a Spider-Man villain was January 20, 2001. I bet a mint edition copy of that puzzle stored in a mylar bag is worth plenty.

82D. Hit Sony product introduced in 1984 (DISCMAN). I’m not sure I realized CDs had been introduced by 1984.

Fun puzzle.  Brian and I should be back with a new episode of Fill Me In: A Crossword Podcast in the next couple of days.

Next stop, Monday.

Apparently, Ryan thinks he has more work to do than I do. He’s wrong, by the way.

The ratio of “Things Will Nediger Knows, But Doesn’t Need To” to “Things Brian Cimmet Doesn’t Know, But Probably Should” is apparently a zillion to one. This themeless Saturday puzzle was, for me, quite a doozy. But doozy or not, I might suggest that it was more of a Friday than a Saturday. After all, the Great Howard Barkin (Knower of All Things) did it in just over four minutes. Hey Howard — I can orchestrate twelve bars of music from “Show Boat” in just over four minutes. How long would it take you?

(Don’t answer that — you’re probably a genius orchestrator.)

Speaking of genius, Will Nediger crafted a marvelous mix of sensible and useless trivia in this 15×15 grid. Things I didn’t know, and will probably continue to not know:

• 9A. Electrum and others : ALLOYS. Ah, the alloys of my youth. When I was Will Nediger’s age, I knew all the Alloys. I used to play one-on-one in my driveway with little Johhny Alloy. Well, until his sister Sally would scream at him from across the street to come home — apparently, their mother Electrum was a stickler for timely dinner service. Of course, Mrs. Alloy never invited me over for a meal…
• 15A. Author born Howard Allen O’Brien : ANNE RICE. No wonder she writes such dark and creepy stories. I know a few people named Howard and they’re all — wait a minute. Howard Barkin, are you still reading this?
• 20A. Subject of some amateur videos : UFO. This was the first answer I put into the grid. Then I deleted it, for whatever reason (along with forgetting everything I ever learned or could learn, I have forgotten why I didn’t like UFO as an answer). For your enjoyment, here’s an interview with alleged alien abductee “Tonay.”

• 28A. Chicago-based magazine, with one million-plus circulation : EBONY. One million? That’s all? I remember reading this magazine from time to time in the public library when I was younger than Will Nediger is now. I have absolutely no idea why I ever did, but I’ve been sure to forget everything I may have learned.
• 34A. Film in which Olga Kurylenko plays the Bond girl : QUANTUM OF SOLACE. This movie hasn’t been released yet. That’s not fair. Will Nediger might not be a teenager anymore by the time this comes out.
• 45A. Genre of rock’s Fall Out Boy : EMO. Apparently, the genre of ROCK’s Fall Out Boy isn’t ROCK. What is EMO? Apparently, it’s derivitave of punk, and originated in Washington, D.C. Since my web browser’s fonts are set very small, I don’t have the patience to read the whole Wiklqpedia page, but the two pictures they offer demonstrate the importance of horrible haircuts.
• 56A. Little music maker : IPOD NANO. This was brilliant. I got I—N-NO from crossings, and was sure it was going to be some instrument ending with -NINO, like a sopranino saxophone or something. As the other letters dropped in, I was just baffled. I own some other sort of iPod, but other than the fact that it’s not a Nano, I don’t know what it is. It’s black. It’s in my car. I listen to old episodes of “Fill Me In” on it. You should listen to “Fill Me In.” It’s brilliant.
• 58A. Loosen, as a bra : UNHOOK. Will Nediger, you cheeky little teenager. When I was your age, I don’t think I even knew that bras had hooks. That’s how useless I was back then.
• 60A. Candy brand : MENTOS. Yes, the freshmaker. Those stupid commercials ruined one of my favorite candies. I loved the mixed fruit flavors best. But really, what you want to read about is the scientists who did all this stuff with Mentos and Diet Coke.

• 61A. Beginning of time? : YEAR ZERO. I don’t know about this one. Aren’t there all sorts of arguments about how Year One would be the beginning of everything? I know, I know — when you’re born, you’re zero years old, and each birthday marks the END of a year. But life and calendars are not the same. The first day ever was January 1, 1. Right? Right. Year One.
• 1D. Peanut butter quantity : JARFUL. I guess so. I don’t know what else to say. I tried JIF JAR first, thinking that was fun. When I found out it was JARFUL, I was less interested, but equally hungry.
• 12D. Musical that won a 1944 Pulitzer : OKLAHOMA. Was this in a recent puzzle? According to JimH’s xwordinfo.com, it’s been almost a year. I must have recently done a different puzzle that used it. “Oklahoma” is a great musical, but the movie is a little slow. I watched it a week ago with my wife (who is a big Shirley Jones fan). We then watched “The Music Man,” which is fantastic. He’s a what? He’s a what? He’s a MUSIC MAN. Brilliant stuff.
• 36D. Main route? : AUTOBAHN. Why the question mark? Is “Main” a code word for something German? I don’t get it.
• 53D. Wroclaw’s river : ODER. Rivers. Four letters. ODER = NILE = YSER = ERIE = XGRW = LLBY = 1234… They’re all the same to me.
• 25D. Bathtub sound : SPLOSH. What? I’ve never heard a splosh before. Splash, yes. Splish, yes. Sploosh even, yes. Splosh? No.

All in all, a fine puzzle. Solvable, except for all the things I don’t know. I’ve now spent the better part of an hour solving and blogging, and I must get back to orchestrating “Show Boat,” which is both longer and more boring than “Oklahoma.”

See you Sunday!

Puzzle #5 in the New York Times Crossword Teen Week Series.  This one is constructed by 17 year old Natan Last, a first year student at Brown University.  How was my time spent when I was 17?  Well, I’m pretty certain none of it was spent dating or engaging in cool actives such as high-fiving and being accepted.  Much of it probably involved pizza, The Legend of Zelda, orcs, Spiderman and dreaming about high-fiving.  What I am absolutely certain of is I never did something as interesting, smart and devious as today’s puzzle.  Kudos to Mr. Last for creating a grid that twisted my brain in knots for a good three and a half hours.

My official no-google time on this was 3:21:16 which was only 3 hours and 16 minutes longer than Orange, The Great Howard Barkin, Knower of All Things and Dan Feyer, Winner of the C Division.  I almost gave up a few times on this one as things looked quite bleak in the left middle section for a while.  I just could not remember what a farrier was.

31D. Did a farrier’s work (SHOD).  I had heard the word before and was relatively sure it had something to do with metal.  I thought it might be WELD as I had ___D but that was the wrong tense.  Suddenly horseshoes popped into my head, I typed in SHOD and the rest of the section fell immediately.

31A. Sound at an auto race (SWOOSH).  I had WHOOSH for a while.  It seemed so right it was difficult for me to believe it might be something else.

34A. Trouble, in a way (HAUNT).  No way I wouldv’e gotten this without the H from SHOD.

38A. Lord John Boyd ___, winner of the 1949 Nobel Peace Prize (ORR).  This is something I need to remember although I doubt I will.  I’m sure by the time you read this I will have already forgotten this hockey great alternate.  Here’s an interesting fact though.  Both Lord John Boyd Orr and Bobby Orr, over the span of their careers, spent exactly the same amount of time in the penalty box for icing.

25D. Au courant (AWARE).  It’s possible there was some mix up at the Times and this clue was mistakenly printed in French.  Did this happen in the print edition as well?  Crazy.  After spending some time thinking the answer had to do with those mini raisins, I gave up and waited for some crosses.

26D. Keen (MOURN).  Great, simple clue that had me fooled for a good two hours.

The rest of puzzle was no less of a struggle and involved many answers pulled directly from my tuchus. Such as:

1A. Dance that simulates the drama of a bullfight (PASODOBLE).  The only time I’ve heard this term was while watching Strictly Ballroom.  My favorite ballroom-themed movie until I saw the original Japanese version of Shall We Dance.

59A. Worked the docks (STEVEDORED).  At first I put LOADED BOAT here which I realize makes very little sense.  Later on, all I had was the ending ED and I just typed in STEVEDORED.  I don’t know how or why I thought of this word.  If you asked me five hours ago what a stevedore was I would have said it was something related to bullfighting.

6D. City at the mouth of the Fox River (OSHKOSH).  I don’t know how I got this one either.  I only know Osh Kosh from the kids clothing.  On a side note, Fox River would be a great name for either a Western movie actor or a porn star.  Or both.

40D. God of life, death and fertility who underwent resurrection (OSIRIS).  On this one all I had was the O and I typed in OSIRIS.  Things like that make me think there is a smart person living inside my brain who only wakes up to do one or two useless tasks a week.  I wish he would get off his ass a little more often and help me get a new job or something.  Earn your keep, buddy!

Other highlights:

18A. Jazz duo? (ZEES).  This seems to be a very popular clue of late.  Not so much in the Times but I feel I’ve seen this 3 or 4 times over the past couple of weeks.

19A. Nooks for books, maybe (TYPO).  This is my favorite clue in the puzzle.  Even after I typed it in it took me a few minutes to figure out why is was correct.  Great, great clue.

33A. Foot of the Appian Way? (PES).  This was the last answer I typed in.  It was a total guess and I still have no idea what it means.

47A. Company that makes Aunt Jemima syrup (QUAKEROATS).  I have to admit I’m a maple syrup snob.  I don’t traffic in the fake stuff.  I’m not someone who gets all up in arms about processed foods.  I eat plenty of processed foods but I don’t understand fake maple syrup.  Why does it exist?  I’ll be the first one to stand up and say I know nothing about how syrup is harvested. It comes from trees, right?  It does seem to be readily available.  I would also venture a guess that acquiring it does not involve one of the world’s most dangerous jobs.  (I know this because there is no show on the Discovery Channel about maple syrup gatherers.)  So, besides being a touch less expensive why does fake syrup exist?  And now to drive the point home by going one step (at least) further than is necessary, here are the ingredients in Aunt Jemima’s Original Syrup.  Notice the conspicuous lack of the word maple: CORN SYRUP, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, WATER, CELLULOSE GUM, CARAMEL COLOR, SALT, SODIUM BENZOATE AND SORBIC ACID (PRESERVATIVES), ARTIFICIAL AND NATURAL FLAVORS, SODIUM HEXAMETAPHOSPHATE.  Okay, I’m done.

56A. Daydreaming (INLALALAND).  Second appearance of this answer in the Will Shortz Era.  Natan clued it much better than Jim Hyres did in 2005.  The 2005 clue: See 21-Across.  Makes no sense.

61A. “You got it!” (OKEYDOKEY).  Read this clue incorrectly for the first hour or so.  I thought the scenario was Person A has something and Person B is secretly jealous but hides it by being overly excited and shouting, “You got it!” and pretending to be all happy but in reality thinking Person A is a horse’s ass.  I guess it works the other way too.

1D. Early Inverness resident (PICT).  It may seem crazy to us now but, although flax was common in the Pict culture, it is not known whether it was grown for fibers, for oil or as a foodstuff.

30D. The farmer’s wife in “Babe” (ESME).  Saw Babe for the first time a couple of years ago.  I don’t know, I thought it was kinda lame.  Does that make me a jerk?

41D. Pattern sometimes called “Persian pickles” (PAISLEY).  Here’s something I did when I was 17.  I wore a paisley shirt.  Instead of buttons it had snaps down the middle.  I used to wear a t-shirt with a Superman logo underneath it and rip open my paisley shirt and pretend I was about to fight crime and, and…um, perhaps I’ve said too much.

Great puzzle, Natan.  High five?

Next stop, Saturday.