Ryan and Brian Do Crosswords

I can’t believe how much preparation there’s been for our trip to Italy. Pickles and I are both really excited though. We’re leaving in a little over 48 hours and heading to Rome. First time in Italy. First time in Europe. If anybody has any last minute advice I’d love to hear it.

But, for now, on to today’s puzzle. It was constructed by Steven Ginzburg and features a theme I’m not sure I totally understand.

37A. How 18-, 24-, 47- and 56-Across may be defined (BY HOOK OR BY CROOK).

18A. SHARPTURN

24A. SHEPHERDS CANE

47A. SWINGING PUNCH

56A. RACKETEER

Ok, so does this mean that each entry may be defined by hook or by crook? Or may some of the entries be defined by just hook and the others defined by just crook? I guess a SHARP TURN and a PUNCH can be a hook, a RACKETEER can be a crook and a SHEPHERDS CANE be…something, I don’t know.

I appreciate the idea behind the theme but I find it pretty confusing.

Other highlights:

14A. Musical work that’s often not in English (OPERA). Looks like we’re totally going to miss the opera season in Italy. Not that I’m a huge opera fan but I’d love to experience it in Italy. We are taking a tour of La Scala though. That should be fun.

42A. Tops of many Halloween getups (WIGS). Seeing all the Halloween stuff at the local Rite Aid is always bit depressing. I love the summer. I much prefer it when the Rite Aid aisles are full of coolers and beach chairs.

65A. First, second, third or home (BASE). Hmmm, is home plate a base? I guess technically it is but nobody ever refers to it as such. Is there some sort of job I could get as a Baseball Term Usage Monitor? I think I’d enjoy that.

40D. Giant in pasta sauce (RAGU). Will I ever be able to eat RAGU again after eating in Italy? I hope not.

What did you guys think of this theme? Did you understand it? If you did, could you explain it to me? Thank you.

Next stop, Wednesday.

As the next step in our ongoing journey of figuring out how in the heck to use this blog we’ve added a “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox to the comments section of each post.  Hopefully this will work and will help keep the comments going on individual posts.  If you decide to try it out we’d love feedback on whether or not it works.

Thanks to all for your comments on my TV commercial puzzle.  I’m very happy my first puzzle wasn’t a complete disaster.  I got some great suggestions from a few of you that I’ll work on incorporating into the final version.

Today’s puzzle was constructed by Fred “I’m from Jersey.  Are you from Jersey?” Piscop.  It features a FOUR/FOR/FORE theme.  Sometimes a feel a little cheated when there’s only 3 theme entries but they’re all 15 letters long so I’ll give it a pass this time.

17A. Roger Bannister was the first (FOUR MINUTE MILER).  When I run on the treadmill at the gym I go for about 30 minutes and cover 3 miles.  This works out to a 10 minute mile.  At the end I am very tired.  Good for Roger.

35A. How something may be done, nostalgically (FOR OLD TIMES SAKE).

54A. Features of yawls or ketches (FORE AND AFT SAILS).

Perhaps not the most thrilling theme of all time but a solid Monday offering.

Other highlights:

49A. Visitor in “District 9” (ALIEN).  Great movie.  And the ending sets up the inevitable lousy sequel nicely.  I think the best movie I’ve seen this years has to be Inglourious Basterds.  I’m biased though.  I’m a huge Tarantino fan.  And I love movies where my people kick butt.  (I’m a big fan of Munich also.)  My second Oscar prediction of the year: Christoph Waltz will win either Best Supporting Actor or Best Actor.

28D. ___ avis (RARA).  I 100% only know this because I do a lot of crosswords.  I have no idea what language it’s in or what it means.  I’m going to say it’s Latin for “rare bird”.

45D. Willem of Spider-Man movies (DAFOE).  I was walking in Times Square yesterday and, apparently, there’s going to be a Spider-Man musical with music by Bono.  Could this be possible or was I in the middle of a fever dream?  Let me check…yup, it’s true.  It’s directed by Julie Taymor of Lion King fame.  My first thought is this will be horribly terrible but you never know.  (But, really, you do know, don’t you?)

Next stop, Tuesday.

I know we’re still working out the kinks of posting our own puzzles, and we don’t really have a “syst” in place quite yet. Nonetheless, I made this one tonight, and wanted to put it out there for anyone who cared to try it.

I don’t generally like quote puzzles, but I thought I’d try my hand at making one. This is a Stephen Sondheim quote. For all I know, this quote has been done before, but whatever — I haven’t made a puzzle out of it before, so it’s new to me.

I’ve got this for you in PUZ and PDF formats. Beware — it’s an irregular size. Oh, and also beware — I have done almost zero fact-checking, grammar-editing or proof-reading. This is a first draft.

So, for those who haven’t heard, I have constructed my first crossword puzzle.  It’s not intended for publication.  I’m in the process of sending out my headshots to commercial agents and casting directors so I created a TV commercial themed puzzle which I’ll put on the bottom half of my cover letter.  Perhaps this will make them stop and take notice of me or perhaps they’ll laugh and throw it and my headshot in the trash.  Who knows?  Anyway I thought I’d share it with all of you.  Just so you know, I’ve gone for simple rather than clever.  Non-puzzle solvers will be looking at it and I wanted something that would not frustrate anybody.  The theme is very straight forward.  I came up with all but one or two clues on my own.  I checked xwordinfo on a couple entries in order to get an easier clue than I could think of myself.  Doug has already told me to change 47-Across to something easier but, so far, I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it.  Here it is in PUZ and PDF format.  I’d love to know what you think.

On to today’s extremely clever puzzle by Ashish Vengsarkar and Narayan Venkatasubramanyan.  This is one of the most clever themes I’ve seen in quite a while.  Even after I had figured it out I still had to figure it out some more in order to really figure it out.

The title is Literally So.

23A. –IRC-MS-ANCES (TAKE OUT OF CONTEXT).  When I first saw the clue I thought it was texting speak.  Besides LOL (which I hate) I don’t know much texting speak so I didn’t think I was going to enjoy the puzzle.  But, looking closer, the clue is actually the word CIRCUMSTANCES with the letters C-U-T removed.  Someone’s CUT (or “share of booty”) can also be called someone’s TAKE.  CIRCUMSTANCES can also be referred to as CONTEXT.  And the CUT is out of the CIRCUMSTANCES, hence, TAKE OUT OF CONTEXT.  Brilliant.  I love this theme.

36A. ANTI—VERNMENT UN—ST (BLOODLESS REVOLUTION).  GORE (or “blood”) removed from ANTIGOVERNMENT UNREST (or “revolution”).

52A. AR—CL- (THE MISSING LINK).  I think this one is my favorite.  TIE removed from ARTICLE.  THE, in grammar, is an ARTICLE.  A TIE can also be a LINK so THE MISSING LINK.  Awesome.

70A. P—ARY CARE PHY-ICIANS (DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS).  RIMS removed from PRIMARY CARE PHYSICIANS.

86A. FI-TH WH—L (SPARE NO EXPENSE).  FIFTH WHEEL (or “spare) with the FEE (or “expense”).

98A. WHAT A –ANDA DOES IN –EIS-RELY FA-HION (EATS SHOOTS AND LEAVES).  A PANDA EATS SHOOTS and the phrase is missing the PLUS (or “and”).  So the AND has left.

121A. W—THL-SS R-AD-TER (LEMON DROP COOKIES).  A LEMON  (or “the last car I owned which is sitting somewhere on the side of the Massachusetts Turnpike gently mocking me”) with OREOS taken out (or “dropped”).

I’m sure if you’re here and reading this you’ve probably already figured all of this out but I needed to write it down just so I was sure I understood everything that was going on here.  Let me say again, this theme is wonderful.  Really, really fun wordplay which is what crossword puzzles (especially the Sunday crossword) is all about.  Bravo, Ashish and Narayan.

The theme is so great I can almost overlook 112-Across.  Almost.  I’m not even going to type it here.  I will not sully our blog with that most hated 4-letter entry.

The top half of this puzzle completely mystified me for a good long while.  I still have not seen even part of any episode of American Idol so 1-Across could have been anything.  I’ve also never heard of AFTA so 1-Down wasn’t easy either.

Over on the other side I put MASK instead of EGGS for Halloween purchase and, directly below, I put TANK instead of LEAK for Scuba diver’s worry so I was all kinds of screwed up over there as well.

But, eventually, I figured it out and my no-google streak currently stands at 1.

Wonderful puzzle.

Next stop, Monday.

I only have a job for one more week. After that, I’m 100% dedicated to finishing World of Warcraft. These timesuck games don’t play themselves, you know. Unemployment is going to find me with a ton of games to play and absolutely no means of income. Unless you have a job for me… You do? Tell me about it. I can do it. Unless it involves going back in time to yesterday to solve David Quarfoot’s puzzle…

[Quick Note: lest you get worried that two days in a row means that something has happened to Ryan – he has promised to edit this post to include his own commentary. Skip ahead to the more colorful text.]

[Oh, and Quick Note #2: Ryan is going on vacation for about ten days, so while he’s gone, you’re stuck with me. But don’t worry, I’ll open each post with a link to a past post of Ryan’s, so if you want to feel like he’s still around, you can.]

Today’s puzzle, on the other hand, was a drop in the ocean. A walk in the park. A pie in the face. It was designed by our good friend, Doug Peterson, Crossword Gentleman and Man About Town (and recent constructor of Lollapuzzoola 2’s Puzzle #5, which featured Ryan faking an orgasm). The grid looks very Saturday-y, with four 15s, two staircases of 5s and a plethora of surprising fill (and a few nonsense words just to be sure).

The 15s:

15A. Revealing pieces : INTIMATE APPAREL. I had the first part, but I thought it was going to be pieces of writing, so I tried for INTIMATE MEMOIRS, which is far less an actual thing.

17A. Some coverage providers : CELL PHONE TOWERS. I recently switched to AT&T so I could get an iPhone. Since I hate talking on the phone in the first place, it seemed like it wouldn’t much matter that service in New York is rather spotty. And so far, that assumption has proven to be correct.

46A. Something shown off on a half-pipe : SKATEBOARD TRICK. I never skateboarded. It was all the rage at my junior high school, and I still remember my classmates talking about all the different types of wheels and axels and stickers and whatever, and all I could do was wonder how anyone could see through their stupid mops of hair.

49A. Russia, China and France are in it : SECURITY COUNCIL. Meh. I know nothing about world politics. I am a loser.

Some gimmes (at least, for me):

1A. 2001-08 Yankees pitcher with seven Gold Gloves : MUSSINA. Mike Mussina is probably able to devote more time to crosswords now that he’s retired from baseball. Did you know that in 2008, he won 20 games for the first time, and then retired? No one had done that (won 20 in his final season) since Sandy Koufax retired early due to nagging injuries.

19A. Conjurers : MAGES. I told you I’ve been playing too much World of Warcraft.

39D. Without conviction : WEAKLY. This is how I do most things in my life.

51A. It can be brutal : HONESTY. Ain’t that the truth.

Things I didn’t know:

1D. Algonquian language : MICMAC. This sounds like it should be on a fast food menu.

9D. “Nell” director Michael : APTED

28D. Back up? : PRONE. I tried both PROOF and PROVE here, thinking in a different direction. Now that I see the answer, I’m not sure I understand. Doesn’t prone mean “lying down”? How is the back “up” in this situation?

32D. “On the Malice of Herodotus” author : PLUTARCH

40A. Some farm stock : EMUS

44A. “Peter and the Wolf” bird : SASHA and 45A. “Peter and the Wolf” duck : SONIA. Very tricky, Doug. Usually this kind of technique means that one of these will be a name and the other will be an instrument, say. Very tricky. Here’s a video of some people playing part of the “Peter and the Wolf” score on four bassoons. When was the last time you saw or heard four bassoons? It’s pretty awesome.

50A. Greek salad ingredient : OREGANO. What? I had no clue.

I actually no-Googled this, so once again I have proven that I live weekends backwards.

I now turn you to your regular host, Mr. Ryan Hecht. …Ryan?

Before I get down to why I am the most loser person in the world, I’ve got a few commercial announcements.

DASH (Different Area, Same Hunt) is a puzzle hunt event taking place in eight cities (Boston, Portland, Houston, Los Angeles, Seattle,  and Palo Alto, and San Francisco). Every city contributed one clue to the event, and each city will use all the clues from the contributing cities. The hunt will take place entirely on foot and should last somewhere between 5 to 7 hours. We expect the puzzles to be moderately challenging for most teams, taking between 10 – 30 minutes to solve. These puzzles incorporate wordplay, logic, code deciphering, general knowledge, and lots of creativity. For more information, visit: http://www.playdash.org/ Also, you may follow us at the national level on Twitter at @playdash.

Also – the Bay Area Crossword Tournament is coming up on September 12. $25 registration if you do it now, $30 at the door. Four puzzles, three of which are coming from the New York Times and one from a little-known crossword personality by the name of Tyler Hinman.

And now, onto our main event, the Friday puzzle by David Quarfoot. My memory of David Quarfoot is that his puzzles are a) impossible and 2) contain lots of crunchy letters.

And… my memory is accurate, thank you very much. Being the hack solver I am, I spent a good 40 minutes on about 90% of this before I finally had to turn to XWordInfo.com to check up on an answer. No no-Google streak for this wannabe crossword guru.

The puzzle was full of things I just didn’t know at all – or at least, things that were familiar, but never came into focus from the clues. Is this an instance of clues not pointing to answers? No, just a solver who is a moron. Let’s see:

1A. Rallying cry supported by some monks : FREE TIBET. Seriously. Give me something I can grab onto for the first clue. Free Tibet? Good lord, let’s just start off the puzzle experience by pointing out how non-political and non-aware of everything Brian Cimmet can be.

10A. When Antony says, “I am dying, Egypt, dying” : ACT IV. I actually just guessed this. I assume it’s from “Antony and Cleopatra,” but who can say.

12D. Right in every detail : TO A HAIR. This is a phrase? It took some very clever Googling to even find one site that explained this term.

13D. Two-time president of Romania : ILIESCU. I saw “two-time” and entered HORWITZ.

14D. Facial feature with a point : VAN DYKE. Apparently there’s no such thing as a VEE NOSE.

15A. Company with a maple leaf logo : AIR CANADA. Yeah, I was way off on this because I thought that 2D. One-named Grammy winner of 2007 was RHIANNA, not RIHANNA. Oops. For that matter, I also had AIRHEAD instead of FATHEAD, EEG instead of ECG, TORT instead of TART, ALEUT instead of INUIT and a bunch of blank squares. With all that, IHREOL— doesn’t look like much.

16A. Part of a college cheer : BOOLA. I swear, I never once said this, and I completed four years of college. Did I miss something?

17A. 2004 horror film about a passed-on curse : THE GRUDGE. I remember the poster looked awfully creepy. I never saw the movie.

18A. Major processing center : BRAIN, or what Brian doesn’t have today. I was certain that this was going to have something to do with the military, and Major didn’t mean “primary,” but rather a rank. So much for me outthinking the puzzle.

51D. Get close, maybe : ZOOM IN. It’s not ZONE IN, which is what I first tried. It’s also not ZERO IN, which is what I tried next. This was the entry I had to look up, since I very confidently assumed that if it began with a Z (which I knew from 50A. Princess Fiona’s voicer in “Shrek” for DIAZ), it had to be one of my first two ideas. There couldn’t possibly be three phrases that start with Z and mean “get close,” could there? Yes, there could.

55D. Soften, often : RIPEN. I don’t get this one. How many things ripen more than once? Or does it just mean that lots of things get soft when they get ripe, therefore it happens often, just not to the same thing…? I tried RINSE here, which also doesn’t make sense, but seemed logical. I kept thinking about washing my hands with Palmolive.

The whole area down here was a disaster for me. I didn’t know five of the six long entries that made up the southeast. Aside from VATICAN, I was lost on ADELINA (45D. Legendary soprano ___ Patti), USS COLE (47D. Destroyer in 2000 headlines – do they mean the year 2000, or that there were two thousand newspapers that ran stories?), SIMPATICO (62A. Congenial – I never saw the movie), ERIE CANAL (65A. Construction with many locks – I knew it wasn’t about locks and keys, but I assumed it was about hair) and PENNY LANE (67A. Where “all the people that come and go stop and say hello” – why, why, why could I not get the damn score to “Light in the Piazza” out of my head while reading this clue?”)… All in all, that corner killed me. I needed Google Tickets.

Well, that’s that. I give Mr. Quarfoot’s puzzle an A for being fantastic, and I give this solver an F for failing to know half the stuff.

Ryan, if you want to delete this post and write something more interesting so our readers will be glad they came here, please go right ahead.

I don’t understand how work can be completely dead on Tuesday night but ridiculously busy on Wednesday night.  That doesn’t seem right.  I don’t know if anybody else has spent all night adding cross references to a word document but that’s what I just did.  By 3am I was ready to throw my face off the roof of the building.

I didn’t get a chance to look at Derek Bowman’s puzzle until I got home.  I solved it in 16:37 which isn’t bad considering I’m half asleep.  The theme was very interesting and clever and, I have to admit, I didn’t totally figure it out until I was just about done with the whole thing.

Seven rows of the grid contained circled letters that formed a pyramid shape.  Each row of circled letters spelled out a word:

1. PATTERN
2. PATTER
3. PATER
4. PATE
5. PAT
6. PA
7. A

In addition there were clues asking for alternate definitions of the words.

52A. First row (DESIGN).

64A. Fourth row (HEAD).

4D. Fifth row (DAB).

43D. Third or sixth row (DAD).

51D. Second row (SPIEL).

61D. Seventh row (ONE).

Very clever stuff.  And this is Derek’s NYT debut.  Bravo, Derek!

Other highlights:

16A. Russo who co-starred in “The Thomas Crown Affair” (RENE).  I actually had a line in this movie.  Guess what it was.  “Good morning, Mr. Crown.”  Hee hee.  I can’t believe such an important line ended up on the cutting room floor.  Yes, my line didn’t actually make it in the film but I am in the credits and I do have an imdb page.  Oy, I really need to update that headshot.  For some reason this video has no sound but my name shows up at about the 5:06 mark.

22A. Boot feature (TOE).  It confuses me why this is always a boot feature in crosswords.  Why is it never a sneaker feature?  Or loafer feature?  Don’t they have toes also?

2D. Ancient Spartan magistrate (EPHOR).  Ephor!  Ack!  You sank my battleship!

30D. ___II razor (TRAC).  Anybody know if you can bring a razor on an international flight?

34D. Metallic shade, in Sheffield (STEEL GREY).  Why Sheffield?  Why isn’t it steel grey in Akron?

48D. Like plain text (PROSY).  You know, many great puzzles have one icky entry.  This one is no exception.  Not every entry can be all poeticy and stuff.

Ok, oh my god, I’m tired.  I have to go to bed.  Really nice puzzle today.

Next stop, Friday.

Hey friends, if you want to see some photos from Lollapuzzoola 2, check out the album I’ve got up on Facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=117059&id=561646579&l=2ca12d589c

Facebook tells me that even if you’re not a member, you can still view this album. I don’t know if that’s true. Can anyone verify it?

We’re trying out some new things — this post, for example. We’re playing with constructing some puzzles of our own, and posting them on the site from time to time. The puzzle below is one I designed over a year ago, and I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Anyway. If you like the idea of us making some new puzzles from time to time, say so. If you think the idea sucks, say so. If you think this puzzle in particular sucks, say so. I certainly don’t think it’s anything special. My grade: “Meh.”

Andrea Carla Michaels (Does she have a nickname? Not yet.) has asked me to post a special puzzle today. It’s for the Puzzlemaster himself and while I highly doubt the Puzzlemaster actually reads this blog I am more than happy to post it. If I’ve learned anything in my short time in the crossword world it is to do anything Andrea Carla Michaels tells me to. She’s wonderful and listening to her can only mean good things will happen. Plus, it’s quite a fun puzzle. So here it is in PUZ and PDF format.

Today’s puzzle is by Gary Cee and features a fun theme of people asking for things. Politely asking for things.

17A. “___, please” (diner’s request) (CHOPSTICKS). I think I know what I’m doing with chopsticks. I can make them grab food and shuttle it to my mouth but I often feel a little self-conscious about the whole thing. Am I really using them correctly or am I making a mockery out of an entire culture? I bet this guy on the right never has any trouble.

27A. “___, please” (announcer’s request) (ATTENTION).

36A. “___, please” (award show presenter’s request) (THE ENVELOPE). Please, dear god, don’t let Hugh Jackman host the Oscars again. That was the absolute pits. Did you hear they’re going to have 10 Best Picture nominees this year? I don’t know what pictures will get nominated but I will tell you here and now that Meryl Streep will win the Best Actress Oscar. No doubt.

51A. “___, please” (operator’s request) (ONE MOMENT).  “Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment…Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment.…Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment.”  What movie?

60A. “___, please” (Henny Youngman’s request) (TAKE MY WIFE).  I wonder if this was funny the first time he said it.

Other highlights, please:

10A. Best-selling computer game from the early 2000s, with “The” (SIMS).  I played this game for a while when it first came out.  I think Brian is still an avid player.  I was really into but my interest eventually devolved into figuring out how to make everyone naked and getting them pee.  Then I stopped.

42A. “Twelfth Night” duke (ORSINO).  I was in Twelfth Night once.  I played Andrew Aguecheek.  It was a bad, bad production.  We were in the round, the audience was extremely close and I could see them all falling asleep.  Most disheartening.

43A. Malodorous critter (POLECAT).  Do all polecats spray scent?  Or just skunks?  Are all skunks polecats?  Some polecats are weasels, are skunks also weasels?  It’s all very confusing.

64A. Past the golf pin, say (LONG).  I guess this means you foozled it.

3D. ___ FireBall (hot candy) (ATOMIC).  Why is cinnamon candy always spicy?  Cinnamon isn’t spicy.  Cinnamon toast isn’t spicy.  How did this all start?

5D. Rejoinder to “tain’t!” (TIS).  One of my favorite Daily Show bits.

25D. Jedi enemy (SITH).  We would also have accepted GEORGE LUCAS.

Fun puzzle today.

Next stop, Thursday.