Ryan and Brian Do Crosswords

Ryan is curled up in the fetal position at the moment (on the bathroom floor at his office) due to a certain shortage of scoring on the part of a certain west coast collection of athletes. It’s a sad day in Ryan’s head.

But let’s make it worse, shall we? Let’s… uh… have a blog by Brian! Yes, that’s how to do it! Today’s puzzle is from one of my many puzzle nemeses, Karen M. Tracey. I think all of my nemeses are people I haven’t actually met. Karen M. Tracey is one. And we know Patrick Berry is one. There are probably others.

I had to Google three squares in this puzzle to get it right. One of those three is maybe my fault. The other two are icky, and to this uneducated dope, unfair. Let’s take a look at those Gaping Chasms of Ignorance:

• 6D. More than merely meet (GET TO KNOW) and 15A. “Beloved” heroine (SETHE). The crossing is at the first E in Sethe. My initial entry was an O. I realize that the clue for 6D is in the present tense, but I might argue that you have to make some kind of commitment to go beyond being someone’s passing acquaintance (i.e., merely meeting them), and that such a commitment requires time. If this time is to pass, one will not have done “more than merely meet” until the end of said time – at which point they can say that they got to know that someone. Look, I’m sure Joon or someone will chime in here and tell me about verbs and tenses, and it probably involves being transitive (which continues to mean zilch to me), and I should have known better and I should have entered GET to know instead of GOT to know, but the truth here is that neither Sethe or Sothe is actually a name that anyone has, so while I might admit that this one could be my fault, I will only take partial responsibility for my lack of success. [NOTE: After writing this, I found the image above to add to this post. I now see that the author of this book has one of the most wonderful first names in all the world, and I should really pay more attention to her work. My apologies.]
• 25D. Sonny (BUB) and 32A. 1930s bomber (B-TEN). I see no reason in the entire world why this is any more acceptable than BUD/D-TEN. And don’t tell me it’s because there was no such plane as a D-10. BUB and BUD are interchangeable, and there’s no real way to guess which random initial letter goes with the name of an airplane from 80 years ago.
• 36D. Largest of the Canary Islands (TENERIFE) and 58A. Male protagonist in William Inge’s “Good Luck, Miss Wyckoff” (RAFE). This is exactly the kind of crossing that annoys me. It’s two proper names, neither of which is normal. Back when we were preparing for Lollapuzzoola 2, I was doing a lot of work on the puzzles and talking with constructors about one thing or another. Doug Peterson’s puzzle, when I first did it, had plenty of trivia I didn’t know. But the thing that made the puzzle a joyous solve for me was that there were no trivia vs. trivia crossings. Every place that there was some obscure name of a horse or a Nepalese emperor or a planet from another solar system, it always crossed with normal, definable words – words which, even if I didn’t know them, I could work out the options based on standard rules of English. But here, when it’s a crossing of TPNNOWIN (two proper names, neither of which is normal), I will suggest that the crossing square could have reasonably been B, C, D, F, K, L, M, N, S, T, V or Z. Maybe MAYBE I will admit that “Rafe” has existed elsewhere in the world as a name. However, the only places I have ever heard it are where “Ralph” is pronounced as “Rafe” — in H.M.S. Pinafore (the male ingenue is named Ralph Rackstraw) and with the actor Ralph Fiennes.

These crossings aside, there was a ton of stuff I didn’t know (and will likely not remember, I’m sorry to say), but stuff I was still able to get, or at least guess correctly.

• 9D. Toy developed in China : PEKINESE. Developed? Hmm.
• 11D. Emperor’s relative : ADELIE. Is this like Nero’s little sister? Random name, fortunately crossing with mostly normal things (EIDERS [27A. Coastal island colonists] being the possibly exception), so it gets a pass.
• 14A. Writer of the history “Ab Urbe Condita” : LIVY. Wiklqpedia says that the title of this work is “Ab Urbe Condita Libri.” As if that makes a difference.
• 17A. London broil, often : FLANK STEAK. When is London Broil not flank steak? I’ve never eaten London Broil, so I have no idea. In fact, the only thing I know about London Broil is that during Act Two of “The Odd Couple,” Felix is preparing London Broil for the Pigeon sisters, and since Oscar isn’t concerned with the timing of dinner, the broil is ruined, and Felix is furious. Ryan and I want to do a reading of “The Odd Couple” at some point. We will be looking to cast the rest of the characters from crossword people we know. About the only request I have is that Andrea Carla Michaels be one of the Pigeon sisters.
• 23A. “Where people go to dance the night away,” in song : TUXEDO JUNCTION. I don’t know this song. Once I got the junction part, all I could think of was “Conjunction Junction” from Schoolhouse Rock.
• 30A. Lusatian ___ (German/Polish border river) : NEISSE. Regular readers know how I feel about too much obscure foreign words.
• 33D. Draining aid : COLANDER. I had –LANDER for a long time, and was totally stumped. Now I feel stupid.
• 33A. Brush : COPSE. I apparently don’t know the word copse, because this doesn’t make sense to me.
• 38A. What you probably have a head for : SHOWER. Something about the wording of this doesn’t land for me. I get it, and I get that it’s being cutesy, but something is amiss. (Speaking of “amiss,” we have another A-word to join the two from yesterday. 5A. Stunned : AGASP)
• 47A. Chateaubriand accompaniment, often : BEARNAISE SAUCE. I think this might be another steak dish I’ve never had. Isn’t chateaubriand a steak dish? I’ve also never had bearnaise sauce. Is it good? (And by the way – how is this dish different from London Broil, other than the vegetables on the side?)
• 55D. Familial title : SIS. Title? No. And why does “Sonny” return the answer BUB, but SIS gets a family-related clue? Isn’t “sonny” family related as well? Bleah.

Karen M. Tracey, you have won again. Perhaps for the next podcast, I will rehash a group of Karen’s puzzles, and spend a few minutes exploring whether she will always kick my ass, or if I will ever have a chance.

See you Saturday!