Ryan and Brian Do Crosswords

For those who didn’t hear, we got hacked yesterday.  The site was down yesterday for a few hours and it looked for a little while like all of our posts were gone for good.  Luckily, everything had been backed up on October 22nd and we were able to restore our site to that point.  We have the posts after that date saved offline and we will be restoring them over the weekend.  Until we do, the commenting system may be a little screwy (well, screwier than normal).  All of our comments from the missing posts are still in the system and they appear to be latching on to random entries.  So if this post has a bunch of comments about last Thursday’s puzzle please do not be alarmed.

Why would somebody hack our site?  There’s certainly no money to be gained.  Is it possible that people sit around and write programs simply because they enjoy destroying other people’s work?  Really?  I do not like these people.  These people are bastard people.

Narrowing down a list of possible suspects I’ve come to the conclusion that the person who did this is none other than Philadelphia Phillie centerfielder Shane Victorino.  Mr. Victorino has done everything in his power to make my life miserable for the past 2 years and I find it very suspicious that on the first day he has some free time our site gets hacked.  Mr. Victorino, why do you hate me?

Today’s puzzle?  Ah yes, today’s puzzle was constructed by one of our all-time favorites, Doug Peterson, Crossword Gentleman and Man About Town.  This has got to be one of Doug’s best weeks.  First, his team wins the World Series and now his puzzle holds the coveted Friday slot.

Given Doug’s bad taste in baseball teams the center of the grid sports an unsurprising entry.

31D. Baseball nickname that’s a portmanteau (AROD).  Yankee fans are finally happy with Arod.  Isn’t that just dandy.

The puzzle is great.  Full of fun fill and fun clues.

10A. Page with convictions (OPED).  I couldn’t wrap my head around this one.  I kept thinking it was a person’s name (like Ellen Page) or a verb (as in, call someone’s name over the PA system with convictions).

14A. Dull type (IGNORAMUS).  Ignoramus is great word.

15A. Campus V.I.P. (PREXY).  Doug is so full of beans because the Yankees won that he feels he can just make up words.

17A. Clearly riveted (AGAPE).  I put IN AWE here first.

36A. Subject of the 2005 biography “iCon” (STEVE JOBS).  Have I mentioned that we love our iPhones?

37A. Spotted (LENT).  Oh my, this was tough.  I was sure it was SEEN.  Then I had _ENT and I wrote down all the words it could possibly be.  And about 10 minutes later I figured it out.

56A. Best in shows (EDNA).  Never heard of her.

5D. A tall Roman column is named after him (TRAJAN).  Here I am lost in Rome.  If only I knew the name of that huge column behind me.

8D. “The English Patient” Oscar winner (JULIETTE BINOCHE).  I remember this because everyone thought Lauren Bacall would win.  Hey, remember how The English Patient was 15 hours long?

9D. Comment when following someone (I SEE).  This is my favorite clue in the puzzle.  Very clever.

10D. Source of ballpark pitches (ORGAN).  Well, I knew it wasn’t going to have anything to do with throwing a baseball.  I thought it might be referring to advertising so I had ___ AD for a while.  On a side note, the last two vestiges of the Dodgers’ time as the most stable franchise in baseball are Vin Scully behind the mic for 60 years and Nancy Bea Hefley on the Dodger Stadium organ for 22 years.

35D. Sight-seers at the Prado? (OJOS).  I got this one pretty quickly but really enjoyed it.

Great puzzle today.  Great week for Doug.  And, Shane Victorino, we’ve got our ojos on you.

Next stop, Saturday.

I found some odd grammar in our neighborhood yesterday.  Our local Salvation Army (which does not take donations of any kind) has a number of signs posted which state “No Trespassing or You Will Be Arrested”.  They don’t say “Don’t Trespass…” or “If Caught Trespassing You…”.  It seems like they’ve set up a choice for the neighborhood.  Either we have the rule “No Trespassing” or we’ll have to arrest you.  Am I explaining this correctly?  Does this seem odd to anybody else?  Brian said it seemed like the sign had two titles like “HMS Pinafore or The Lass that Loved a Sailor”.

Today’s puzzle is by Paula Gamache and is very nice.  So nice, in fact, that I couldn’t bear to finish it.  And by “couldn’t bear to finish it” I, of course, mean “couldn’t finish it”.  I tried but, in the end, the bottom right absolutely stumped me.

Here’s what I had:

47D. Like new ones (CRISP).  New dollar bills are totally overrated.  Incredibly difficult to count.

41D. Nonhuman baby sitter? (TEEVEE).  The length of this entry stumped me for a while but with a few crossing I got it.

39D. Alternator driver (FAN BELT).  Ok, sure.  I got this with a bunch of crossings.  I pretty much know how to add gas to a car but that’s about it.

37D. Stand where you lie (BED TABLE).  The puzzle was full of “the other meaning of the word”.  No, not the one you’re thinking of.  The other one.

57D. It has a ball (EYE).  Isn’t the eye and the eyeball the same thing.  I mean, what beside the eyeball makes up the eye?

56A. Dupe’s exclamation (IVE BEEN HAD).

Ok, here’s what I had wrong:

53D. Lee side (REBS).  This is probably the most clever clue in the puzzle.  I put REAR thinking of the sea and a boat.  Not once did the Civil War cross my mind.

49D. Chrissie of the Pretenders (HYNDE).  Lot’s of music-related clues.  I got close on this one.  I had HYNES.

48A. Her alter ego is Princess Andora (SHERA).  I feel I should get points for this one.  I had SHIRA.  That’s really close.  I mean, I knew what the answer was I just spelled it wrong.  I would have been right on Jeopardy.

Here’s what I couldn’t figure out:

59A. Time to pull a product (SELL BY DATE).  This was frustrating.  I had two wrong letters and just couldn’t figure it out.  I had SELLAYE___.  The best thing I could come up with was SELL-A-YEAR I, thinking it was maybe some yearly sales event.

61A. “Turn! Turn! Turn!” songwriter (PETE SEEGER).  More music clues.  Yes, I knew the song.  No, I didn’t know who wrote it.

42D. Ugly Dungeons & Dragons figure (SEA HAG).  This clue I’m not in love with.  I played a lot of D&D in my day and I certainly don’t associate sea hags with the game.  Plus the word “figure” seems unnecessarily misleading.  There’s lots of numbers and figures in D&D, the whole fighting system being based in math.  I don’t know.  Boo, on this clue.  Why not reference Popeye?

43D. Busy (ORNATE).  Again, not what you’re thinking it is.

44D. Irish (DANDER).  I was completely lost on this.  I understand it now.  Irish, as in getting your Irish up.  The best I could come up with was PADDIE.  Somebody explain my thinking there.

The rest of the puzzle was also full of great clues.  I especially enjoyed It begins where a person hails from for TAXI RIDE and Routine delivery for ONE LINER.

I had a very odd moment when I was trying to figure out 17A. “Baby Hold On” hitmaker, 1978 (EDDIE MONEY).  Again, I know next to nothing about music.  The only crossing I had was the N.  After staring for a bit I thought, hey, TINA TURNER fits here.  Later on, when the entry directly above EDDIE MONEY did, indeed, turn out to be TINA TURNER I was quite surprised and I only hope I can harness this power to do good.

Great puzzle today.

Next stop, Sunday.

We here at the BeMoreSmarter headquarters officially don’t like the Philadelphia Phillies, even if we here in Brian’s head don’t actually care. It’s solidarity, and if Ryan hates the Phillies, then so do I.

Sadly, do you know what goes along with hating the Phillies? Hating fans of the Phillies. And today, that specifically means Barry C. Silk, Friend and Confidante of Doug Peterson, Crossword Gentleman and Man About Town. Barry has chosen a Friday on which to provide us with a Saturday Stumper, even though that’s Newsday’s thing and this is the New York Times. Clearly, there has been a mix-up. Did you get stuck with an unsolvable puzzle like we did? Let’s look.

Gaping Chasms of Ignorance:

• 10D. ___ Heights (GOLAN) and 21A. Mythical Hun king (ATLI). I don’t think Joon Pahk can get on my case for this one. Maybe he’ll argue that I should know ATLI, but I will argue back that he forgets I have a music degree. As for the crossing, we’ve got two proper names, neither of which actually exists. [NOTE: Upon further examination, it seems that Atli is a variant on Attila. We thought Attila the Hun was real. Someone – Joon – please explain.]
• 15D. 2001-05 Pontiac made in Mexico (AZTEK) and 28A. Converted from coal via distillation (COKED). What the hell? All I could tell was that it wasn’t AZTEC, because I had C—ED, and C-CED didn’t make any sense any which way. The crossing here is the K, but we’ve never heard of coking. Coke is for drinking (if you’re Ryan). Coke Zero is also for drinking (if you’re Brian).
• 34D. They help with dating (TREE RINGS), 31A. 1980s El Salvadoran president (DUARTE) and 48A. Sacrifice site, in Siena (ARA). I broke through this southeast corner with great pride when I came up with this entry for 34D: GREETINGS. Absolutely, when you’re beginning to date someone, the beginning of each date is crucial – the way you say hello, be it with flowers, a kiss, a wave from the hired limo, whatever. GREETINGS are pretty important. And since ATA seemed as likely a place in Siena as ARA… and DUARGE might as well be someone from El Salvador… why not?

[NOTE: Here’s why not – 54D. Representation of 34-Down: Abbr. is YRS, which doesn’t make any sense with GREETINGS. Although now that I read it, “Representation of tree rings: Abbr.” sure seems clunky…]

Entries Which I Don’t Know (Or Think Need To Be Challenged):

• 16A. Spendthrift’s antithesis : STINTER. My favorite online definition of STINTER is “an economizer who stints someone with something.” Thank you, Free Online Dictionary.
• 23A. National park with the Pink Cliffs : BRYCE CANYON
• 25D. Fancy to a fault : ADULATE. I don’t understand. “To praise excessively.” What is faulty about this?
• 37A. They won’t cover your back : HALTERS. Stupid me, I had HATTERS in here for a while, and kept thinking it was pretty random.
• 38A. Hand over : RENDER. I had TENDER in here for a very long time, making 1D a complete mystery to me.
• 39D. Below C level? : POOR. What does this mean?
• 41D. 18 or 21, typically : OF AGE. This seems weird. I understand that “He is of age” and “He is 18” means it passes the substitution test. But it still seems weird.
• 52A. Acronym for a kind of PC video screen display : WYSIWYG. This stands for What You See Is What You Get. I have never ever heard this used in reference to a “PC video screen display.” In my experience, it refers to the reliability of a printed product to resemble its on-screen counterpart. This clue suggests that the acronym refers to the screen, not the image on the screen. Very misleading. [NOTE: I got this one anyway.]
• 59A. They don’t move quickly : LARGOS. I don’t like the use of “largo” as a noun.

Gimmes, the Few and Far Between:

• 3D. TIgers’ place : PRINCETON. My first guess was AL CENTRAL, but this was second.
• 29A. Tibia neighbors : PATELLAS. Other than “does it end with an S or an E?” this was easy. I may know nothing about mythology, but bones are a specialty.
• 30D. Fine with the Stooges : LARRY. The effort to play on the word Fine did not do anything to trick me.
• 33D. Take another good look at : RE-EXAMINE
• 37D. Hobby with call signs : HAM RADIO
• 43A. Washington locale : VALLEY FORGE. I don’t know why I knew this, but I did.

So there it was. Barry C. Silk has double-trumped us here with the Phillies and the Friday. Good luck in the World Series, Barry. I have put a hex on Chase Utley and Ryan Howard. What you see is not what you get. Muahahahaha!

Baseball season is officially over here at Be More Smarter Industries.  For the second year in a row, the Dodgers won the National League West, swept a heavily favored midwest team in the first round, devastatingly blew a late lead in Game 4 of the NLCS against the Phillies and depressingly ended their season in Game 5.  Baseball season will resume on Monday, April 5th 2010 in Pittsburgh.

Speaking of baseball, we’re going to start a Be More Smarter fantasy baseball league next season.  We’ve already got a few people involved but we’re looking for more.  If you’re interested leave us a comment or send us an email.

Today’s puzzle is by Joel Fagliano, a 17-year old making his NYT debut.  Joel, of course, hails from Philadelphia.  I will try to overlook that fact in my discussion of his puzzle.

The theme was a lot of fun.

A SHOT IN THE DARK

All of the answers to the starred clues are missing the word SHOT.  [The following observation came to me from Orange's blog via a Doug Peterson, Crossword Gentleman and Man About Town liason.]  Where the word SHOT should be is instead a black square.  The black squares are dark so you can think of the word SHOT being in the dark.  Very clever.

And here’s the opening sequence from the classic movie.

5A. *Jigger (GLASS).

17A. *”That’s way off” (NOT BY A LONG).

38A. *Photo (SNAP).

39A. *Colorful party drink (JELLO).

40A. *Rejected (DOWN).

62A. *Quick hitch-up (GUN WEDDING).

71A. *Y-shaped item (SLING).

10D. *What “fore” may precede (TEE).

61D. *Track-and-field event (PUT).

Other highlights:

I had a lot of trouble with the crossing of ECRU (1A. It’s similar to cream) and EAN (1D. Suffix with Euclid).  I thought the word was Euclidian not Euclidean.  And it took me forever to think of cream as a color and not something you feed to cartoon cats.  Speaking of that, does anybody give their real cats cream or milk to drink?  I’ve heard it’s not good for their digestive system but any time we give them a little sip they LOVE it.

35A. “For real!” (I MEAN IT).  Anybody want a peanut?

44A. Pack rat (HOARDER).  Fascinating show.

58A. Solo in science fiction (HAN).  I don’t think the Wookie likes being leaned on.

8D. Nick name? (SANTA).  Good one.  I had NOLTE here first.

Fun puzzle, today.

Next stop, Friday.

On Monday night I (Ryan, not Brian) experienced the most crushing defeat of my long career as a Dodger fan.  It was miserable.  An electronic component was destroyed, a wife was woken up, a fetal position was curled into.  Why on earth did that have to happen?  I do hope they recover.  I hope they’re doing a better job of recovering than I am.  I hope they win tonight.  I hope the season doesn’t end like last year: me, at work, watching game 5 against the Phillies and wondering what the hell happened.  I really hope I’m at home on Friday night watching game 6.

Ok, on to today’s puzzle by Peter A. Collins, a very nice puzzle with a very nice theme.

65A. Genre for 1- & 22-Across, 22- & 26 Across, 26- & 46-Across and 46- & 49-Across (POP).  And when you put those pairs of entries together you get:

BOY GEORGE

GEORGE MICHAEL

MICHAEL JACKSON

JACKSON BROWNE

I guess it’s a popstar name ladder.  Is this the first popstar name ladder to appear in the New York Times?  Is this the first popstar name ladder to appear anywhere?  Jim Horne, answers please.

Long time readers of the blog will remember I know next to nothing about music but, in this instance, I can name at least one song from the first three popstars.  On the other hand, I wouldn’t know a Jackson Browne song if it bit me on the ass.  I’m looking on wikipedia and none of the songs they list ring a bell or any other musical instrument.

I just went to youtube with the intention of posting a Jackson Browne song but then I figured that’s what you all would be expecting me to do.  So, instead, here’s a guy with the last name of Brown solving a Rubik’s cube while on a pogo stick.

Can we keep this popstar name ladder going?  Are there any popstars with Browne as their first name?

Other highlights:

I had trouble with the crossing of OVO (35A. Ab ___ (from the start) and OVOLO (31D. Convex molding).  Is that a fair crossing?  If POP was crossed with POPCORN would people take that sitting down?  I guess the example isn’t really the same since I’ve actually heard of both POP and POPCORN while I remain in serious doubt about the actual existence of an OVO and an OVOLO.  Also, I wouldn’t know a convex molding if it bit Jackson Browne on the ass.

20A. Flying A competitor (ESSO).  I’ve been called a Flying A more than a number of times.  I had no idea I was being compared to a gas company.  I guess that makes me feel a little better.

38A. Barrio quaffs (VINOS).  I don’t understand this one.

18D. “Oh, ___!” (Pooh expression) (BOTHER).  Hey, why does my food taste funny?

22D. Dharma’s sitcom spouse (GREG).  I somehow missed this entire show.  Is it still on?

55D. Where the traitorous Vidkun Quisling lived (OSLO).  What is this?  Is this from Harry Potter?

Fun puzzle, today.

Next stop, Thursday.

It’s late, and I should be asleep. So should you, for that matter. But instead, here we are, writing and reading (reading and having written?) a blog. Tra la. We write this paragraph in order to not give away answers via Facebook. I think this is enough of a buffer, isn’t it?

Today’s puzzle is by Gary Cee, who we’ve seen a handful of times over the past several months, if memory serves. I’m not sure I’ve seen enough of a sample size to commit to a solid opinion on Mr. Cee, but today’s puzzle certainly fits the Tuesday mold pretty darn well. The theme:

• 17A. View from the Oval Office : ROSE GARDEN
• 25A. Premium Scotch whiskey : CHIVAS REGAL
• 37A. Event featuring sports stars of yesteryear : OLD-TIMERS’ GAME
• 52A. Pastry sold at pizzerias : SAUSAGE ROLL
• and it all becomes clear with 61A. Make an abrupt change … and a hint to this puzzle’s theme : SHIFT GEARS

See how the letters in GEARS appear in each of the other answers, but scrambled differently? Clever. It also made me think back on that gearshift Sunday puzzle a few months ago. Did you do that one? I don’t have the authority to share unsolved puzzles, but I can show you the solution.

I know it’s not really like me, but I actually have nothing negative to say about this puzzle. Sorry, Amanda, but I actually liked this just fine. Part of that might be due to the fact that it’s late and I should be asleep and this puzzle was super easy, but part of it might just be because it was good. If I were to complain, it might be that the fill was a little on the generic side (EDNA, ESAU, SIRS, ARLO, OREL, ARM, AIR, AREA, STYE, AERO, RIO – all kinda standard stuff), but there were still a few surprises (CLASS A, NODOZ, NAAN, VINEGAR). There may have been a few too many partials and/or multi-word entries (AM TOO, A BITE, IT’S A DEAL, A PAR, LT. GEN, USA! USA!, ASST. DA, STOP AT), but since I still don’t truly know the difference between a partial and a multi-word entry, this may not be a fair complaint.

[Insert unnecessary acknowledgment of the certain incoming comment from Joon Pahk, in which he tells me the difference between a partial and a multi-word entry.]

If you haven’t listened to the latest episode of Fill Me In, you should. It’s available. Also, if you’re scared to jump into our podcast without having listened to anything else yet, go read our info page — and then come back and listen.

See you Wednesday!

Well, it looks like our search for a house has been completely derailed.  We found a really nice one in our price range and within a reasonable commuting distance from the city and we were all set to make an offer but we didn’t take into account the commuting costs.  Good lord.  The 2 of us to getting in and out of the city would cost $780 a month!  And that’s not including the cost of the car we’d have to buy.  This disappointing news plus the complete drubbing the Dodgers just experienced in Game 3 has made for a very frustrating night in the Hecht household (or should I say, apartmenthold).

On the upside I completed Lynn Lempel’s crossword in 4:34 which is not a bad time for me.  The theme was OOH AND AAH and the answers to each starred clue contained both those sounds.

16A. *Backwoods locale (BOONDOCKS).  Is this funny?  I think I’ve lost my ability to tell.

27A. *Particle with no electric charge (NEUTRON).  Ok, is this funny?

49A. *Stew made with paprika (GOULASH).  This is kinda funny.

3D. *Apollo 11, 12 or 13, e.g. (MOON SHOT).  I’m guessing this wasn’t funny.

10D. *Commotion (HOOPLA).  Umm…funny?

39D. *Teased hairdo (BOUFFANT).  Pretty funny.

48D. *Home of the University of Arizona (TUCSON).  After much searching I found absolutely nothing even remotely funny about Tucson.

Next stop, Tuesday.

There seemed to be quite a few people yesterday who were somewhat chagrined that I had never heard of a snow fence.  Well, I hadn’t.  But now I have.  My wife and I live in an apartment and after a snowfall, the walk to the front door is magically cleared by elves (either that, or our super) and we’ve never had a need for a fence.  However, we are currently in the market for a house so I suspect we will soon be confronted with the actual downsides of snow.  At least it won’t be snew.

Today’s puzzle was constructed by Elizabeth C. Gorski making what I believe is her New York Times debut.  Hold on, let me check…oh, sorry this is actually her 171st NYT puzzle.  I’ve got to start paying attention.  The theme was AHEAD OF THE CURVE and the whole puzzle was great fun.

What might at first look like a big @ symbol (in fact, it contains the clue 67A. Symbols like @ (ATS) which I thought was a nice touch) turned out to be a tribute to the 50th Anniversary of THE SOLOMON R GUGGENHEIM MUSEUM.

I thought this puzzle was great.  Not only is it in the shape of the museum but Ms. Gorski also fit in the entries:

SPIRAL SHAPE

FINAL MAJOR WORK OF FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT

NONTRADITIONAL

Plus, there are nine artists clued only by one of their works.  I think I knew just enough about art to be able to successfully solve this puzzle.  MANET, CHAGALL, KANDINSKY, SEURAT, DEGAS, MONDRIAN, PICASSO, ERNST and ARP.

Why did I think that Kandinsky was a classical music composer?  Is it because I know next to nothing about art or classical music?  While you guys are mulling that over take a look at the Kandy Man’s Composition 8.

The rest of the grid was also filled with great stuff:

27A. California wind (SANTA ANA).  I feel like there’s a possible theme idea here.  Add an extra a to SANTANA and you get SANTA ANA.  Does that work for any other names?

39A. 2000s TV family (SOPRANOS).  As far as hour long dramas go, I think this is my favorite.  I watched the whole series on DVD in about a month and a half.

41A. Many a school fund-raiser (RAFFLE).  Never in my life have I ever won anything in a raffle.  Never.  The whole thing is rigged.

72A. Like a bond you can buy with security? (AAA).  Do financial people think this is hilarious?  Because I don’t get it.

79A. Lo-___ (RES).  My favorite is the House Special Lo-res.  Shrimp, pork and chicken.  A little blurry but absolutely delicious.

85A. Like some YouTube videos (VIRAL).  This is one of my favorites.

64D. Words from Charlie Brown (UGHS).  This one is weird.  I don’t remember Charlie Brown saying UGH a lot.  I remember GOOD GRIEF and AAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH but not UGH.

Really great puzzle today.

Next stop, Monday.

Ok, I am in a much better mood today.  The Dodgers squeaked out a win (take that, Barry C. Silk, Friend and Confidante to Doug Peterson, Crossword Gentleman and Man About Town!) and now go to Philadelphia with the series tied at one game apiece.  So far, both games have been very close and very nerve wracking.  Only 3 wins away from the World Series.

Today’s puzzle was constructed by Chuck Deodene and I had to google to get the final letter in place.  It was the B that crossed BRNO and BREL.  With _RNO I was sure that the missing letter was a vowel and when none of them worked I scoured the rest of the grid for a possible error and didn’t come up with anything.  I turned to google and quickly realized I needed a B.  That’s frustrating especially because I’ve heard of both of the terms.  BRNO from crosswords and Jacques Brel from that musical, To Jacques Brel and Thanks for All the Fish (or something like that).

I did figure out the rest of ,what I would call, a harder than average Saturday puzzle.

After my first pass through the clues I knew exactly one thing, IVAN Drago.  I’ve never actually seen Rocky IV but “I must break you” became a very popular phrase between my friends and I in junior high school.  It popped up quite frequently when we played D&D.  (Reason #379 why my school years were a social disaster.)

With IVAN solidly ensconced in the grid I spent the next hour or so staring at a lot of empty squares.  I don’t remember exactly how I finally broke through but I know POTABLE (34A. Unlike seawater) was a big part of my success.  I guess it makes more sense than UNSALTY.

Brian and I were chatting on the phone while solving the puzzle (being careful not to give any answers away to each other) and we both doubted the wordliness of BENTHIC.  I have since looked it up and it does indeed mean something related to the bottom of the sea.  Also, if you say it out loud enough times you can convince yourself that you have a lisp.

Brian was convinced 29D. Literally, “my master” was referring to a Disney character.  Either BAMBI, DUMBO or SIMBA.  I don’t think they’ve made a Disney movie centering around a RABBI but I think it’s high time they did.

My first thought for 21A. Track speedster beginning in 2000 was USAIN Bolt.  Turns out it was ACELA which actually isn’t much faster than the regular train but it sure is more expensive.

I liked 14A. Sputnik launch time (SOVIET ERA) but I can’t be the only person to enter in SPACE RACE, can I?

61A. Guard against drifting (SNOW FENCE).  Is this really a thing?  I mean, are there fences specifically made for snow?

2D. Hip-hop top (HOODIE).  Hey, I wear a hoodie almost everyday.  Does that mean I am in with the hip hop?

Good puzzle today.

Next stop, Sunday.

Ryan is curled up in the fetal position at the moment (on the bathroom floor at his office) due to a certain shortage of scoring on the part of a certain west coast collection of athletes. It’s a sad day in Ryan’s head.

But let’s make it worse, shall we? Let’s… uh… have a blog by Brian! Yes, that’s how to do it! Today’s puzzle is from one of my many puzzle nemeses, Karen M. Tracey. I think all of my nemeses are people I haven’t actually met. Karen M. Tracey is one. And we know Patrick Berry is one. There are probably others.

I had to Google three squares in this puzzle to get it right. One of those three is maybe my fault. The other two are icky, and to this uneducated dope, unfair. Let’s take a look at those Gaping Chasms of Ignorance:

• 6D. More than merely meet (GET TO KNOW) and 15A. “Beloved” heroine (SETHE). The crossing is at the first E in Sethe. My initial entry was an O. I realize that the clue for 6D is in the present tense, but I might argue that you have to make some kind of commitment to go beyond being someone’s passing acquaintance (i.e., merely meeting them), and that such a commitment requires time. If this time is to pass, one will not have done “more than merely meet” until the end of said time – at which point they can say that they got to know that someone. Look, I’m sure Joon or someone will chime in here and tell me about verbs and tenses, and it probably involves being transitive (which continues to mean zilch to me), and I should have known better and I should have entered GET to know instead of GOT to know, but the truth here is that neither Sethe or Sothe is actually a name that anyone has, so while I might admit that this one could be my fault, I will only take partial responsibility for my lack of success. [NOTE: After writing this, I found the image above to add to this post. I now see that the author of this book has one of the most wonderful first names in all the world, and I should really pay more attention to her work. My apologies.]
• 25D. Sonny (BUB) and 32A. 1930s bomber (B-TEN). I see no reason in the entire world why this is any more acceptable than BUD/D-TEN. And don’t tell me it’s because there was no such plane as a D-10. BUB and BUD are interchangeable, and there’s no real way to guess which random initial letter goes with the name of an airplane from 80 years ago.
• 36D. Largest of the Canary Islands (TENERIFE) and 58A. Male protagonist in William Inge’s “Good Luck, Miss Wyckoff” (RAFE). This is exactly the kind of crossing that annoys me. It’s two proper names, neither of which is normal. Back when we were preparing for Lollapuzzoola 2, I was doing a lot of work on the puzzles and talking with constructors about one thing or another. Doug Peterson’s puzzle, when I first did it, had plenty of trivia I didn’t know. But the thing that made the puzzle a joyous solve for me was that there were no trivia vs. trivia crossings. Every place that there was some obscure name of a horse or a Nepalese emperor or a planet from another solar system, it always crossed with normal, definable words – words which, even if I didn’t know them, I could work out the options based on standard rules of English. But here, when it’s a crossing of TPNNOWIN (two proper names, neither of which is normal), I will suggest that the crossing square could have reasonably been B, C, D, F, K, L, M, N, S, T, V or Z. Maybe MAYBE I will admit that “Rafe” has existed elsewhere in the world as a name. However, the only places I have ever heard it are where “Ralph” is pronounced as “Rafe” — in H.M.S. Pinafore (the male ingenue is named Ralph Rackstraw) and with the actor Ralph Fiennes.

These crossings aside, there was a ton of stuff I didn’t know (and will likely not remember, I’m sorry to say), but stuff I was still able to get, or at least guess correctly.

• 9D. Toy developed in China : PEKINESE. Developed? Hmm.
• 11D. Emperor’s relative : ADELIE. Is this like Nero’s little sister? Random name, fortunately crossing with mostly normal things (EIDERS [27A. Coastal island colonists] being the possibly exception), so it gets a pass.
• 14A. Writer of the history “Ab Urbe Condita” : LIVY. Wiklqpedia says that the title of this work is “Ab Urbe Condita Libri.” As if that makes a difference.
• 17A. London broil, often : FLANK STEAK. When is London Broil not flank steak? I’ve never eaten London Broil, so I have no idea. In fact, the only thing I know about London Broil is that during Act Two of “The Odd Couple,” Felix is preparing London Broil for the Pigeon sisters, and since Oscar isn’t concerned with the timing of dinner, the broil is ruined, and Felix is furious. Ryan and I want to do a reading of “The Odd Couple” at some point. We will be looking to cast the rest of the characters from crossword people we know. About the only request I have is that Andrea Carla Michaels be one of the Pigeon sisters.
• 23A. “Where people go to dance the night away,” in song : TUXEDO JUNCTION. I don’t know this song. Once I got the junction part, all I could think of was “Conjunction Junction” from Schoolhouse Rock.
• 30A. Lusatian ___ (German/Polish border river) : NEISSE. Regular readers know how I feel about too much obscure foreign words.
• 33D. Draining aid : COLANDER. I had –LANDER for a long time, and was totally stumped. Now I feel stupid.
• 33A. Brush : COPSE. I apparently don’t know the word copse, because this doesn’t make sense to me.
• 38A. What you probably have a head for : SHOWER. Something about the wording of this doesn’t land for me. I get it, and I get that it’s being cutesy, but something is amiss. (Speaking of “amiss,” we have another A-word to join the two from yesterday. 5A. Stunned : AGASP)
• 47A. Chateaubriand accompaniment, often : BEARNAISE SAUCE. I think this might be another steak dish I’ve never had. Isn’t chateaubriand a steak dish? I’ve also never had bearnaise sauce. Is it good? (And by the way – how is this dish different from London Broil, other than the vegetables on the side?)
• 55D. Familial title : SIS. Title? No. And why does “Sonny” return the answer BUB, but SIS gets a family-related clue? Isn’t “sonny” family related as well? Bleah.

Karen M. Tracey, you have won again. Perhaps for the next podcast, I will rehash a group of Karen’s puzzles, and spend a few minutes exploring whether she will always kick my ass, or if I will ever have a chance.

See you Saturday!