I’ll admit it — I cheated at about half of this puzzle. It would have been left almost entirely empty, if I hadn’t bothered to look at someone else’s solution and copy about ten entries.
Oh my god, Frank Longo, why are you torturing me? You alone scare the living something out of me when I see your name in a byline. This has been the case in Games Magazine, this has been the case with your 25-foot-long puzzle (that still remains about 53% finished in a box on a shelf in my office).
And I got mad mad mad when I saw that Dan Feyer (who I know is a million times smarter than I’ll ever be) did it in 3:41. THREE FORTY-ONE? I had about six answers in place at 6:41, and after looking some up, realized that four of them were wrong. How on earth do you know everything?
I knew 62A. Killer of Greedo in a sci-fi film (HAN SOLO). And yes, he shot first.
So here’s my list of things I don’t understand:
17A. Payback factor : ACCRUED INTEREST. I don’t understand. I see that the clue is about paying a debt, and the answer seems related, but I don’t get it.
29A. Between green and black, say : RIPE. This is a major stretch, and I’m torn between thinking it’s incredibly clever and completely horrible. I *do* understand this one, though, so no need to smack me in the face with a green banana.
40A. Fort Worth’s ___ Carter Museum : AMON. Sometimes, when the grid is just full of random letters, I guess one can just Google an entry and then later figure out if there’s a clue to go with it. This idiot blogger has no clue about this museum.
42A. Jack : LONG GREEN. Is this about golf?
52A. Pulsar, e.g. : RADIO SOURCE. Is Pulsar a brand name? Or is this something in outer space? Or both?
59A. Explosive measure : KILOTON. As in “a kiloton of explosive stuff.” But then, couldn’t BAGGIEFUL also be an explosive measure?
2D. Crackpots : LOCOS. Aren’t crackpots people who are experts at things? For example: “Dan Feyer is a crackpot at crosswords.”
13D. Certain twin : SIS. Who’s twin is this? It’s apparently someone certain.
18D. Nigerian native : IBO. That’s a word?
28D. Hokey jokes : CORN. Right.
30D. Like correctional facilities : PENAL. Yes, when I’m trying to describe one of the other million things that are penal, I usually struggle to find the word, and say, “Well, it’s like… it’s… it’s like a correctional facility.”
31D. ___ Bowl : ALAMO. Might as well have been “Five-letter word” for the clue. Super Bowl, Sugar Bowl, Aloha Bowl… Really? There’s an Alamo Bowl? I challenge anyone reading this to tell me anyone who has ever played in the Alamo Bowl without looking it up.
34D. Year in which Middle English began, by tradition : MCL. It could be anything. And “by tradition”? Isn’t a tradition something that we do year after year? Like we all tease my father for using an electric knife on the frozen meringue-sorbet cake. That’s a tradition. What year a dead language may or may not have started is not a tradition.
44D. 1990s President of the Philippines : RAMOS. President + Philippines = Imelda Marcos’ shoe collection. That’s all I have.
46D. German magazine article : EIN. Why “magazine”? And for what it’s worth, the list of six German articles I know does not include this one (das, der, die, sie, ich, ach — and I’m sure at least one of those isn’t actually an article).
53D. Marsh bird : SORA. Sora, Amon, corn… these could be rivers I haven’t yet learned.
55D. Boot attachment : SKI. I always thought we attached the boots to the skis, not the other way around. Or is “attachment” a mutual experience?
56D. 1961 hit song for the Angels : TIL. In 1961, the Angels were a brand new expansion team in the American League. Their best player was leftfielder Leon Wagner, who hit 28 homers and batted .280. They went 70-91 and finished in eighth place. I know a lot about baseball, but I had no idea that the Angels ever released an album.
57D. Each, in scores : ALL. What scores use this? Is this supposed to be like “all the violins play here” as in “each and every violin”? Every score I’ve read, when they want all the instruments to play, use TUTTI.
Ryan, I am pleading with you. Don’t ever make me do a Saturday puzzle again.